10 Commandments That All Siblings Follow

As we recently celebrated National Sibling Day, here are commandments that those with siblings can most likely relate to.

Siblings have a strange love-hate relationship that even parents struggle to understand. One moment, siblings are about to kill each other before hugging each other the next. But one thing’s for certain, they have commandments that they follow, which makes their relationship work. Here are 10 of the unspoken commandments that siblings often follow.

1. Nobody has a right to bully the sibling except the other sibling.

The rule doesn’t just apply to people outside; it also applies to the parents. Siblings are hard-wired to protect one another even if they don’t get along well. Thus, they have a rule: “Nobody is allowed to bully their sibling except them.” It’s a privilege and a well-known unspoken rule among siblings based on how we raise them and that is, to play fair. So, it’s not fair to the siblings if another person suddenly attacks the sibling.

2. Think brilliantly separately but share one brain cell when together.

Being siblings doesn’t mean they need to be together all the time. That annoys siblings just as much because they want to establish their individuality. But at the same time, they want to grow their identity with their sibling and will do all sorts of strange things hence, they end up sharing the proverbial “one brain cell.” Like, we know that our kids are brilliant and we love talking about it to our relatives. It’s just hard to convince said relatives when the siblings start meme-dancing out of nowhere or leaning so close to our faces that it’s invading our personal space.

3. Establish territories where one can “assert their dominance.”

Siblings need their space even if they’re at home so they usually demand a cabinet or a folding room divider if they’re in the same room to preserve their territories. Yes, it sounds strange like they’re a bunch of animals but siblings can get tired of each other. Especially when they fight, they want a space where they can be away from that sibling for a while.

4. Opinion About Food: Sibling > Parents

Especially when they are picky eaters, we’ll notice it’s the other sibling who convinces their sibling to eat the food. Since siblings identify with each other and compete with one another, they’ll copy what the other sibling does to get our attention. Sometimes, they’ll even drown their food in Tabasco sauce just because the other one does it. Maybe it works when it comes to making them eat salads, too!

5. Thou must have a group chat WITHOUT the parents.

Siblings separate their relationship with each other from the relationship they have with us. Especially when they’re older, they recognize that “telling mom/dad” means escalating the issue. So, they usually duke it out between themselves unless it’s really bad like — drugs, crime, etc. They also use the group chat to order snacks, milk tea, etc. when they’re having a bad case of the munchies.

6. If the snacks have no name, it’s a free game.

Especially if the siblings are quite peckish, chips are going to be a source of conflict. So some siblings put their names on the bags or hide their stash in their rooms to prevent the other siblings from getting it. This rule also extends to parents, unfortunately. So, if we want chips, we may as well buy our own, especially if it’s our favorite and make this commandment very clear among the kids.

7. Compensate for the other.

Biologically, siblings are also wired to compensate for the other’s weaknesses. If one sibling is soft-hearted, the other one will have venom like a viper. If one is physically weaker than the other and gets picked on, the physically stronger one will be more prone to fighting. Siblings will always cover for one another.

8. Siblings are on speed dial.

When there are problems, siblings will not call their parents. They will call each other especially when they are aware of how volatile their parents’ tempers are. In relation to Rules #5 and #7, siblings will always turn to each other instead because they are aware that the age gap between them and their parents causes misunderstandings.

9. Thou must have your own code words.

It may trigger feelings of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) when we hear siblings communicate in their “special language” but that’s how siblings bond. They mix up some internet slang, English, and sometimes, words from other languages to create a new language of their own. Despite it looking like they’re hiding something from us (which sometimes they do), we just have to trust that they can figure it out.

10. No one will understand you more than your sibling.

Although we can argue that we raised them, there are so many things that prevent us from seeing it from their point of view. There’s technological literacy, the age gap, and many other things that make it hard for us parents to understand our kids the way they understand each other. It may hurt our pride a little as parents when we see the siblings discipline each other better than we can but, there’s one thing siblings understand that we never will: what it feels like after being disciplined by us and how to interpret it.

Not all siblings have this kind of relationship though.

Some siblings get along better than others but there are also siblings who just hate each other’s guts no matter how hard we try to get them to play nice. While parenting plays a big role in how siblings shape their relationships with one another, their disposition is also what decides how the dynamics go in sibling relationships. But most of the time, these siblings have a set of unspoken commandments that help parents keep the house in one piece.

More on siblings?

How The Eldest Sibling Becomes The Third Parent
Sisterhood in Motherhood: Celebrity Moms With Their Sisters
How to Deal With Sibling Rivalry: What To Do When The Kids Keep Fighting