What Parents May Not Know About Depression

Depression is very real, and here’s what many parents need to know

Depression. We normally imagine someone crying a lot or just not getting out of bed. But the truth is—it runs deeper than that. Despite the psychiatrist’s official reference, the DSM-5, it doesn’t cover all the symptoms. It only covers patterns, and not every form of depression is the same.

Here are some things that parents may not know about depression:

Things Not Many Know About Depression

1. Depression can be a symptom and/or a disorder

Usually, depression starts with the common “clinical depression” diagnosis. It’s only through a battery of psychological tests that many discover that it’s a symptom of another disease.

As a standalone disorder, some may know it as Major Depressive Disorder (MDD). These are severely low moods and happen in bursts, leaving the affected mind swirling with thoughts of self-loathing, apathy, and numbness.

Depression, however, can be a symptom of other disorders like bipolar disorder, cyclothymic disorder, anorexia nervosa, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and many others. Unfortunately, the tests to confirm those disorders often cost a lot of money.

2. Everyone shows depression differently

No two expressions of depression are the same. And a lot of times, Filipinos who suffer depression rarely show the typical crying and dark demeanor. In a lot of cases, they’re laughing and smiling. They live life, and before anyone knows it, they’re gone.

Those with depression often describe the last moments when they smile as episodes of relief. They see freedom from the weight that crushes them or from the thorn that constantly stabs their sides.

3. They often feel emotionally isolated

Depression can make a person feel alone. Even if they’re laughing and having fun at a party full of people, they struggle with actually feeling it. The smiles and laughs demand more energy and effort.

Especially in a culture where parties and fiestas are a thing, Filipinos who suffer depression often feel ashamed and fear opening up about their emotional isolation. They’ll smile, laugh, wave, and join games. But only those who know them well enough will notice how forced their smiles are.

4. Dealing with depression is not always a serene pursuit

We often see people use meditation and spiritual pursuits to deal with depression. However, it’s not always the case. Some prefer something cathartic—or psychologically violent. They cope using music, dance, drown themselves with coffee, or do anything that’s high energy in hopes of building up enough to get through the day.

5. Not all those with depression immediately resort to suicide

Suicide is often a last resort or when the feelings of hopelessness are just too much. Some instead turn to self-harm—using pain to remedy the numbness and as a coping mechanism.

Self-harm isn’t just cutting one’s wrists. It involves any activity not done in moderation. Overeating, drinking alcohol, coffee, or anything in illogical amounts, and even overdoing certain physical activities—anything that can pose a physiological risk. Some will even start a fight just to get an adrenaline high.

Doing these makes those with depression feel something. It doesn’t have to be joy; just let them feel something other than being numb.

6. There’s not always an obvious cause for depression

Everything causes something. But depression is one of those that don’t have a clear-cut source. Sometimes, it just hits like a tidal wave threatening to swallow every bit of oneself.

Once it hits, everything just stops. Brains no longer think. Limbs get heavier. Stomachs refuse food. Everything just sinks into nothing. The worst part is, when asked what’s wrong, those with depression can only respond helplessly with, “I don’t know.”

7. Depression is not always due to a lack of resilience

Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness don’t always instantly prevail. It takes time; like anything, resilience can be eroded. Mistakes made in social settings, the drama on social media, a one-way street of venting and ranting in a relationship—these are just some of the things that can chip away at the armor of resilience we’ve built for ourselves.

8. It’s not advice that depressed people look for

People advise because they think depression will go away if they provide a solution to the problem. It’s no surprise; being problem-oriented is a highly sought-after characteristic in the corporate setting. It keeps people professional.

However, depression doesn’t behave that way. What they need is someone to understand that they feel horrible. They don’t need someone to tell them how to solve their problem. Telling them actually makes them retreat, making them feel that they were “too dumb” to realize a solution.

Instead, just be there. Don’t say a word. Let them cry, rage, or whatever they need to do. Just ensure nobody does anything illegal.

Is Depression Common in Filipinos?

The number of depressed Filipinos has doubled since 2013. A study compared survey results in 2013 and 2021, revealing that the original reading of 9.6% jumped up to 20.9% in 2021 (Puyat, Salvador, Tuazon, and Afable, 2025). They also noted that mostly females are the ones who reported suffering depression. However, males are often known to not report due to shame associated with acknowledging their feelings.

The most common generations hit with depression are the millennials and Gen-Z. While some were afflicted with mild cases, those who had pre-existing depressive tendencies had it worse during the pandemic. As to the cause, most studies attribute it to the pandemic (Agbayani, 2024).

Millennials, on the other hand, suffer depression through the buildup of frustration. It can come from job loss, listlessness, and sometimes, the frustration of having to be the sandwich generation can drive them to depression (Dela-Rosa and Cleofas, 2022).

What Can Parents Do If Their Kids Open Up About Depression?

Here are some things that parents can do if their kids open up to them about depression:

• Remember that they’re there for support. Not a solution. Before we offer a solution, please be mindful that they’ve probably tried everything to fix it themselves. Eventually, they realized that the solution was just for us, their parents, to be there for them.
• Don’t freak out if they want medicine for it. There’s a strong stigma to relying on medicines to ease depression, but people have weaned off them. With proper supervision, a person can live a full life even after taking medicine. These medicines are usually taken only over the course of one month.
• Avoid being defensive when they open up. As a parent, it’s usually a reaction to get defensive because depression can look like a “parenting fail.” But like we said, it’s a lot deeper than that. Instead, take a deep breath and ask, “Want to talk about it?” Getting defensive actually makes it worse.

Where to Find Help in the Philippines

If your kids or even you are suffering episodes of depression, please reach out to these trusted local resources:

• National Mental Health Crisis Hotline – 1553 (landline) / 0966-351-4518 (Globe) / 0908-639-2672 (Smart)
• MindNation – www.mindnation.com (Online therapy and mental wellness programs)
• In Touch Community Services – www.in-touch.org
• UP Diliman PsychServ – psychserv.upd.edu.ph
• Ateneo Bulatao Center – www.bulataocenter.org

All offer online and in-person counseling services, including free or affordable sessions for Filipino parents and students.

References

Agbayani, R. A. B. (2024). Exploring the Lived Experience of Gen Zs with Mild Depressive Tendencies Through a Biopsychosocial-Spiritual Model. Far Eastern University Journal, 10, 112-27.

Dela-Rosa, R. D., & Cleofas, J. V. (2022). European Journal of Educational Research. European Journal of Educational Research, 11(2), 1209-1218.

Puyat, J. H., Salvador, D. L., Tuazon, A. C., & Afable, S. D. (2025). Rising prevalence of depression and widening sociodemographic disparities in depressive symptoms among Filipino youth: findings from two large nationwide cross-sectional surveys. Cambridge Prisms: Global Mental Health, 12, e51.

More about mental health?

Suicidal Ideation: Opening Up About Vulnerable Moments
“Self-Harm isn’t Always Obvious:” What Filipino Parents Need to Know
Sunshine Dizon: Lights, Courage, Closure!