For the Tired but Loving: A Caregiver’s Reality Check
When you’re caring for everyone else, don’t forget you’re human too
To care for someone you love — a parent, a partner, a child — is both sacred and stretching. Some days it feels manageable. Other days, it feels like too much. If you’re in this season, here are reminders you may need to hear.
1. Your emotions are valid — all of them
Caregiving will test you physically, emotionally, and mentally. There are days when things flow. And then there are days when patience runs thin, especially when the person you’re caring for is uncooperative, in pain, or frustrated with their own limitations.
In The Unexpected Journey, Emma Heming Willis shares how suppressing emotions can take a toll on one’s health. With guidance from experts like Dr. Habib Sadeghi, she reminds caregivers that anger, fear, resentment, and sadness are not signs of failure — they are signs you are human.
Compassion for yourself matters just as much as compassion for the person you’re caring for.
2. Caregiving is both a privilege and a weight
In many Filipino homes, caregiving is not outsourced — it is embraced. We take care of our aging parents. We show up for our sick partners. We rearrange life for our children. It’s cultural. It’s familial. It’s love in action.
But love does not cancel exhaustion.
Caregiving can feel like an opportunity to give back. It can also feel heavy. Both can be true at the same time. You are not “less grateful” for feeling tired.
The reminder is simple: you cannot pour from an empty cup. Rest is not selfish. Asking for help is not weakness. Filling your own cup is part of the responsibility.
3. There will be good days — and hard ones
Progress will sometimes look like small victories: a parent walking a few more steps, a child finishing a meal, a partner having a better day than yesterday. Those moments feel like light breaking through.
And then there will be setbacks. Misunderstandings. Tears in the bathroom where no one sees you.
This rhythm is normal. Caregiving is rarely linear. What matters is not perfection — it’s presence.
4. If you can’t say it out loud, write it down
Not everyone is ready to verbalize their frustrations. And that’s okay.
Journaling can be a quiet release. Writing down what you feel — the anger, the guilt, the gratitude, the fear — allows those emotions to move instead of staying bottled up.
On days when you feel invisible, writing reminds you: I matter too.
5. At the core of it all, this is love
Behind the sleepless nights, the backaches, the calendar rearrangements, and the loneliness is one steady truth: you are doing this because you care.
For some, caregiving is a profession. For many families, it’s an act of devotion. In Filipino culture especially, we show love through presence. We stay. We carry. We endure.
But here’s the gentle boundary: you should only caregive in ways that are sustainable for you. Love does not require self-erasure.
A Humbling, Powerful Season
Caregiving is not glamorous. It is often quiet and unseen. But it is deeply human.
One day, when you look back, you may not remember the exhaustion as clearly as you remember the closeness — the conversations, the hand-holding, the shared silence.
It is both a cross and a gift. And if you are in this season right now, may you remember: you are doing something hard, and you are doing it with heart.
Frequently Asked Questions
Yes. Caregiving comes with a wide range of emotions — including anger, sadness, resentment, and guilt. Feeling frustrated doesn’t mean you don’t love the person you’re caring for. It means you’re human.
Small but consistent self-care helps: journaling, taking short breaks, asking siblings or relatives for help, and, when possible, seeking therapy. Emotional release — whether through talking or writing — prevents burnout from building up.
In Filipino culture, caring for aging parents or sick family members is often seen as an act of gratitude and love. Many families choose to keep caregiving within the home rather than placing loved ones in care facilities.
Constant exhaustion, irritability, sleep problems, emotional numbness, or feeling resentful most of the time are signs it may be time to ask for help or share responsibilities.
No. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Taking care of your physical and emotional health allows you to show up more sustainably for the person you love.
More on caregiving
To the Caregivers Holding It All Together: This Is for You
Thriving with Cerebral Palsy: The Parents Behind a Growing Movement
Why Filipinos Willingly Care For Their Elderly Parents
