Moms and Dads

Tita Time: A Guide on how to Fully Enjoy Titahood

Finally ready to embrace your Tita-ness? This Tita is having a blast and will tell you why these are the best times of her life. 

I am a certified Tita and I am loving it. 

Gone are the days when being a “Tita” equals dowdy and aging. Titas can be hot, like the Alice Dixsons and the Ina Raymundos. All the hot Jennifers (Lopez, Aniston, Biel, don’t forget Love Hewitt — Lawrence is too young still) have fallen into that category and they are looking pristine. I said to myself “If that is how titas look like, then please, sign me up.” 

Being the “cool Tita”

I have never been one of those women who refused to be called “tita.” I do have nephews and nieces— what else should they call me? Before the pandemic, I would bump into the kids of my older friends and they would call out to me from across a crowded bar so they can respectfully beso. I have always loved that— playing the “cool tita” part that offers these young ones a shot of tequila and then shoves a glass of water in their face to hydrate. I show them how to properly dance to house music like I would in 78 Orange. “This is how it’s done, children. Watch and learn.”

It’s all about the liniments, baby

While titas may look ageless these days, our bodies still have a way of reminding us that we are no longer youngsters. Even with daily yoga and stretching, at the end of the day (I’m usually in bed by 9pm) I feel those tight shoulders and that creaky lower back. A tita usually has a full arsenal of essential oils and liniments to make her feel better. 

The evening air that was usually perfumed with notes of rose and patchouli are now replaced with White Flower, Katinko, or Tiger Balm Rub Boost. My 7-year-old daughter likes it — she thinks the scent is soothing. The hubby thinks it reminds him too much of his mother. Not ideal for those evenings when I have “special plans” with him, so on those nights I grit my teeth and endure the stiff neck. It somehow miraculously disappears soon after, anyway. 

Like you just don’t care

Should I even say that “Tita Sex” is amazing? Well, it is, and is so much better than sex in your early twenties when you were dealing with so many issues like being self-conscious about how your butt looks under white light or if that drunken fling with your friend will make things permanently weird. Yes, you still have that same butt, and it probably jiggles even more now, but you simply don’t care anymore. There is less uncertainty, assuming that you are in a stable and loving relationship at this point. And, no, it need not be boring — there is plenty of room for excitement and exploration within the comfortable confines of monogamous relationships. 

And when we do seek the thrill of the new and unknown, we look to our single tita friends to share the sordid details of their affairs. It’s a jungle out there, so they say, and the single tita is the cunning and sensual feline gingerly licking her chops as she awaits her next snack. Us married women live vicariously through them. 

Loving yourself

Being a tita comes in different forms and interpretations— it is never the same experience for everyone. There are those ladies who have converted entertaining at home into an art form. They put the good china inherited from their abuelas to work, and they keep their cocktail carts fully stocked with assorted garnishes and tonics. Then there are also those who have found peace and contentment in isolation, enjoying the pleasures of solo travel (right now its more about unaccompanied Netflix) or simply developing themselves. Oftentimes it takes a certain level of maturity to understand that the person that can love you best is yourself, and that it is okay to just be with yourself, too. 

Besides, being a tita now is less of a designation and more of a state of mind. It is reaching that milestone of having lived life, of now knowing the things you can only wish you knew then. You can actually be in your early thirties and feel like a certified tita, simply because you feel you are settled and comfortable in your own skin.

This does not mean that I feel I have everything figured out. In fact, quite the opposite. It is that awareness that I am not perfect and I never will be. That life is too short to spend it worrying about things or people that will not matter in the end. And that I simply have zero effs left to give. All of this is what makes me a proud tita!

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