Elaine Abonal: Surfing the Waves of Motherhood and Life
Surfista Elaine Abonal shares how she surfs and enjoys all the waves of Life and Motherhood, no matter how big or small.
To ride the waves, one must first respect the uniqueness of the surf spot and its culture — a lesson out of the many hundred others that surfing coach Elaine Abonal, founder of Surfista Travels (also known as Surfista Siargao), learned and now teaches after her many years of living, surfing, and swimming in Siargao’s beaches and waters.
“Every surf spot and culture is different; the level of surfing is also different in each spot in the world so just because you’re a “good” surfer on some beaches, doesn’t mean it’s the same in Siargao,” she explains. “You have to earn the respect of people and show that you can take care of yourself when the waves are bigger. Especially if you want to be given waves and shown respect as a surfer.”
Her words speak volumes of her understanding of the tides and their nature. After all, to brave against the depths and the waves means to accept many unpredictable and uncontrollable conditions. So, where does one find that bravery? Besides having properly trained instructors, there’s also a particular mindset, she reveals.
“Anyone CAN try surfing as long as they are comfortable in the water, can swim, and have a good attitude when it comes to falling down!”
Look what the waves brought in!
Elaine Abonal’s devotion to the ocean is no secret affair; one that gifted her more than cementing her as a poignant figure in Philippine surfing culture. While the beaches of Florida and its surfers piqued her curiosity, the waters and locals of San Juan, La Union fuelled her passion. A trip on a public bus to the beach with friends as a first-year student started it all.
“I researched on the internet if we had surfing anywhere since we’re a country full of beaches and next to the Pacific Ocean. Then I found that the locals offered surf lessons in San Juan, La Union. I got hooked and I never stopped surfing since then!” she recalls fondly.
Ever since then, the tides’ gifts have been never-ending. Besides regaling her with its beauty, the surfista would eventually meet someone who would embrace and understand her dedication to the sea — her husband, Oliver Bayer.
“We were in Bali, Indonesia when we met. Both of us were getting our certification from the International Surfing Association (ISA). He’s into surfing photography and is now helping with all of Surfista Siargao’s programs as the head of the photography,” she shares. “I wanted to help people get into surfing and surf spots the most FUN, PROFESSIONAL & SAFE way possible.”
But the thing about passions is that it’s not easy to keep to oneself. She wanted a way to “share” her passion for surfing and to contribute to the Philippine surfing scene. Thus, Surfista Siargao opened its doors to surfers and surfing enthusiasts — both local and foreign. Finding a name for the business was a tricky affair at first, she admits. It had to be easy to remember.
“I then remembered that I was always being introduced as “the surfer” or the “Surfista” (since I speak Spanish). Then, I realized that it was a word uncommon in the Philippines. So I got the trademark and called my company Surfista!”
Elaine Abonal lets in on a Surfista Secret
With surfing now becoming more popular in the Philippines, Elaine Abonal has dealt with her fair share of nervous and excited newbies. Some think that all they need to do is stand on a board. Others feel that they lack the athletic capability to make the most out of the experience. But with kids, it takes a little more imagination and appealing to their love for adventure, says Elaine.
“The kids that we’ve taught to surf are either really excited and brave to try or curious. But they’re also scared of the water or hesitant to fall. Every child is different and we adjust to the child that we teach.”
And sometimes, it takes a bit of imagination. Empowering kids through the thrill of adventure — that’s one way Elaine goes. Besides telling how kings and queens played with the waves, they can imagine themselves as superheroes or ninjas. But the tricks she’s learned to teach her younger students come from being a mother to her 5-year-old daughter, Tala.
“It helps a lot that my husband and I are parents to a 5-year-old and we read and research a lot about child psychology,” shares Elaine. So I feel like because we are parents ourselves, we have a deeper understanding of the temperament of kids. That makes us also more patient and more empathetic when helping kids conquer their fears or hesitations in the water.”
Settling in Siargao
No longer just a beloved surfing spot for Elaine Abonal and her family, Siargao has now become their home. Besides the blue waters for a beautiful view, the Surfing Capital of the Philippines offers her and her family a deep connection to their Filipino roots. Despite surfing in various places around the Philippines, there’s a kind of magic on Siargao that called out to her. It’s about learning how to be in a community, she reveals.
“I’ve also learned that I am here in Siargao to give and share my knowledge and resources to the community, not just take and look for what benefits me. I’ve learned that it is important to adjust to the people and culture around us – both the good things and bad – instead of expecting everything to be perfect or how things “should” be.”
As a member of both Siargao’s international and local community, Elaine Abonal is grateful for her daughter’s exposure. Besides her students from Surf School, many kids in their community share Tala’s background of being a “halfie” or mixed kid. But they’re no different either, save for the various languages they use to get around. She’s very blessed to grow up in such an international community, a surfing community, and on a beautiful island in the Philippines, Elaine says.
“She gets to play with all kids her age — whether they are Tagalog, Bisaya, Siargaonon, English / French / Spanish speaking, etc! She actually gets to pick up so many languages, dialects, and accents because of the exposure she has here [in Siargao].”
Going beyond “just a mestiza beauty”
Although Tala has the best of both worlds, Elaine insists on instilling simplicity and humility in her. Mixed or not — she is just like any other Filipino living on the island. Even with her light blonde hair and some European features, she emphasizes.
“Because our culture likes to glorify the “mestiza” look or Filipinos have this mentality that mixed kids are more beautiful, I have to make sure to instill a kind of simplicity and humility in her. There is no special treatment just because she’s a halfie or mixed kid. She still has to learn the mano po (blessing of the hand), go to the local fiesta, and eat in the local karinderias. There is no separation of her from the other local children.”
She adds, “Tala is like any “regular” 5-year-old who goes through the same brain, emotional, and physical development of a typical healthy child. We should still raise them with the same kind of values, love, and lessons no matter where they are from.”
However, there’s no avoiding some traditional views of what beauty looks like, especially in the guise of well-meant compliments. While it’s not wrong to praise a woman’s beauty, looks are only part of the big umbrella of what many consider beautiful. To focus more on what she can do with her brain and her heart, she adds. “I also tell her that kindness is what makes a person beautiful — no matter what they look like.”
She then adds, “But if someone (besides me) tells her that she’s beautiful, she’s learned to wink and say, “Thank you! I’m really clever too!”
Building Confidence Beyond Beauty
Words are one of the few ways to build a daughter’s confidence. The most crucial part is the follow-through; actions and reactions must match the words. When Elaine hears often from friends and family that Tala has the potential to become the next Miss Universe, a smile, a nod, or a knowing response is all she gives. It teaches Tala that being a beauty queen is one of the many jobs she can do when she grows up, she explains.
“I always tell her that she can be anything that she wants to be — whether it be a superhero, a president of a country, an Olympic athlete, an artist, etc.,” she shares.
As Elaine Abonal avoids the phrase “it’s not what girls do” when speaking to Tala, she fuels her daughter’s spirit of adventure — another vital ingredient in building confidence. “And whatever she picks, her whole family will be there to support her whatever she chooses to do or be.”
But what ties everything together for Elaine as she builds Tala’s confidence is to ensure her daughter sees that she gives herself the same boost. Whether just at home or during a shoot for a magazine, the surfista remains mindful not to downgrade her “morena skin” or doubt herself in front of her daughter. To show how she enjoys the company and the experience, to treat the people they meet with kindness and honesty — Elaine Abonal hopes that Tala can see the beauty in those.
“There’s a kind of honesty and kindness that comes from loving oneself,” she reveals. “I believe it’s really important for a child to see their mother (and father) love and have confidence in themselves because that gets passed on without having to say anything.”
More about beauty?
Steffy Gerona: It’s Not Late to Be a Beauty Queen!
Nicole Limos-Morales: Finding Beauty And Power as an Editor
Your Path to Self-Love: Beauty Tips By Laura Lehmann To Ignite Your Confidence
