Erik Santos Pens The Truth About Losing One’s Parents

It’s been really tough, draining, tiring, overwhelming all at the same time,” shares Erik Santos in an Instagram post highlighting his father’s funeral.

We often lose ourselves in the worries of being parents. Whether our kids are healthy, hitting their milestones, or if they’re doing well in school, we worry so much that we sometimes forget to check on the people who poured their lives into us: our own parents. The sad truth is that they’re not getting any younger. After spending all our lives knowing that they’ll always be there, we know that their loss will create a void that will be difficult to fill. And singer and actor Erik Santos pens that well as he holds his father’s funeral, citing the struggles and difficulties even among his siblings.

“Halos dalawang taon po naming inilaban ang aming mga magulang. Since December 2021, naging buhay na namin ang magpabalik-balik sa ospital at naging pamilyar na sa aming magkakapatid ang sakit at takot na makita ang aming mga magulang na naghihirap,” admits Erik.

And after a long fight, Erik’s father joins the Creator on August 10, 2023.

The Meaning-Making Process of Loss And Grief

Losing a parent is both a heartbreaking and surreal experience. It leaves a void that swallows anything and everything, making all the happy memories with them flash before our eyes before slamming us with the reality that they are no longer with us. And for Erik Santos, he and his siblings experience not just the loss of one but both within what he confirms as “barely 365 days after” his mother, Angelita Santos, passed away after a hard and well-fought battle against cancer.

“It was Nanay last November and now Tatay who went home to heaven, barely 365 days have passed and I find myself in this very tragic moment of life, trying to comprehend its meaning,” he writes.

We fear the loss of our children but, rarely speak about the loss of our parents. Sometimes, we take our aging parents’ presence for granted, forgetting that their age makes them more vulnerable to disease and many other things. Rarely do we even think about losing both parents consecutively and abruptly — it’s a pain and incident that Erik says he cannot find the words to describe.

“I never imagined losing both my parents in such an abrupt manner of each other. I have just been rebounding from the loss of my Nanay. And now, here I am again, experiencing exactly the same agony. I run out of words trying to describe the immeasurable pain.”

“Surviving The Harsh Reality That They’re Gone.”

We rarely want to face the possibility of losing our own parents. But when it happens, what do we do? What does an adult child do now that their parents have joined the Creator? Erik sums it up simply: they fight, they survive. “My siblings and I survive our parents. We fight day by day to survive the harsh reality that Nanay and Tatay are gone,” he writes. 

The pain will be raw, and it’ll be fresh. There’s no avoiding the numbing pain that accompanies grief and loss. But Erik opts to find the meaning in their loss to cope with the grief, instead of letting it consume him. “For now, everything is hazy and painful. Really painful. But I know one day we will find meaning in all this, with you all on our side.”

Erik Santos made his mark in the Philippine industry as the first Grand Champion of the ABS-CBN singing competition Star in a Million Season 1 in 2003. He also has the moniker “King of Pinoy Teleserye Theme Songs.”

More stories about grief and loss:

Baby Loss Awareness Week: 9 Celebrities Share Their Grief
How Parents Can Help Kids Process Their Grief – Modern Parenting
The Silent Grief of an Early Miscarriage