Food as a Love Language: How Cooking Together Builds Connection
To make sure kids get the nutrition they need, they need to learn how to cook their own food
Picky eating can stem from a lot of things. While some involve underlying health issues, most come from fear. Just like us, if our kids don’t know what goes into our food, we’d be hesitant to eat it, too. Even if the most trusted person in our life tells us it’s good! So, how do we get our kids to be more open and adventurous with their food? We get them to cook, of course!
Here’s why cooking together as a family helps kids become more secure with eating and less of a picky eater:
1. Seeing what goes in reduces the anxiety
Eating something for energy may be a form of survival, but the brain also has a self-preservation mechanism. It’s been ingrained into our DNA, making us avoid all things green or brightly-colored since most poisonous plants appear that way.
Unfortunately, this same survival mechanism is why kids don’t like vegetables. But by letting them handle the ingredients (e.g., washing, preparing, and smelling them), they get to familiarize and process the ingredients themselves. Sure, we’ll stay longer in the kitchen. But like they say, “time flies when we’re having fun,” and kids somehow know how to make things fun!
2. Cooking together improves motor skills
Some good food, like shrimp, most shellfish, and seafood, demands a bit of hand dexterity. Flaking the fish, scraping the meat from the shell, and peeling it to get to the meat — some people find it a hassle to do, which is why they prefer eating meat. They would complain that it takes too much brainpower, with the flavor payoff no longer being worth it.
However, cooking together means having the kids watch us as we handle the food. When they watch us casually flake a fish for bones or peel shrimp like it’s normal, they’ll eventually mimic our movements. After all, kids learn more from what they see. Not from what they’re told.
3. Cooking together is when a lot of inside jokes happen
All those reality cooking shows we’ve watched have been trimmed down more than we think. Cooking mishaps are a lot more common than any chef or home cook wants to admit. Squirting lemons, meat flying off the chopping board, exploding popcorn, splattering sauce, a jar that just refuses to give, even after gathering the strongest people at home to open it, all these moments are bonding moments. Especially when we’re able to find it in ourselves to laugh about it.
4. It brings back memories
Especially in Filipino culture, food and cooking bring back a lot of memories for parents. For a long time, it’s been an expression of love. When we’re sick, we remember that hearty and warm bowl of arroz caldo despite being betrayed by the ginger, potato, and chicken (this is why we cut them in different sizes!). For the Chinese, it’s that bowl of lugaw or congee often served with a tablespoon of mahu or pork floss (the stuff they put on bread in bakeries) or the herbal yet savory Black Chicken Soup.
5. Cooking together emboldens them
Most kids are afraid because they don’t know or don’t see how to handle things. That’s the beauty of cooking together; it exposes them to most elements that people normally fear. When people see sharp objects and fire, they panic. But to a kid who’s grown up seeing or joining their parents cook, fire, and sharp knives are normal to them. It eventually translates to how they handle their fears.
It doesn’t have to be every day
Most kids nowadays can’t cook because of technology. With online delivery services, it’s just a few presses of a button, and they get food and a clean kitchen. Don’t worry, we’re guilty of that too. Online food deliveries remove the whole “cleaning the kitchen” bit from our never-ending to-do list of home making which we genuinely appreciate. Plus, it feels like we’re delegating and having someone lift a bit of the mental load for us.
But even if it’s just for one weekend, cook together. It’ll reduce the picky eating and keep the family healthier in the long run, too! Plus, as parents, who wouldn’t want to miss an opportunity to make happy memories with the kids?
Need recipes to try with the kids?
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