Kids

What Parents Can Do When Kids Feel Lonely In School

by Kevyn Gohu
November 13, 2025

Here’s what parents can do when their kids feel lonely in school

School isn’t just about grades; it’s also about making friendships that last. Many of us made friendships that have withstood time and trials after spending years together as classmates, batchmates, school sports teammates, or even partners in extracurricular activities. So when we hear our kids say how lonely they are in school, it hurts. We wonder if something’s wrong with them or us, when sometimes, they just need a bit of a pep talk.

Why It’s Hard for Some Kids to Make Friends in School

Sometimes, it’s just part of their personality. Not every kid is an extrovert or what the netizens describe as those having “Golden Retriever Energy.” Those who are, however, are usually the ones who run in, introduce themselves, and say “Hi! Let’s be friends!”

Others are reserved and quiet. There doesn’t always have to be something developmentally wrong; they just don’t have that same initiative or energy. They’re the kind of kids who know everything about everyone around them, but never truly interact with any of them. They’re keen observers, which can be a bit unsettling when people hear them reveal things that they never told them.

There’s a truth to the whole “extrovert-adopts-introvert” scenario. The reserved kids usually keep to themselves with books or anything that doesn’t demand or require much social interaction. It usually takes someone with high energy to go up to them and say, “Hi!”

Eventually, they match the energy and find that friend for life.

Why We Can’t Completely Cut Off Screens Either

Screens nowadays are what kids use to connect. Although we want to reduce their screen time and protect our kids from nasty people on the internet, they’re still learning how to do things in varying degrees. When they’re young, it’s extremely binary: either 1 or 0. True or false. Yes or no. They haven’t yet learned moral grayness, which they typically pick up from adults.

So, they end up being cut off from their peers. Nowadays, jokes and stories aren’t shared in the playground. They’re in chat rooms and through memes.

How Parents Can Help Their Kids Cope with Loneliness in School

Here are some things parents can do to help their kids cope with the loneliness in school:

Learn about what their kids heard from their classmates in school. A lot of times, the shy ones pick up a lot of information but don’t know what to do with it. We can help them navigate through it by reading up about the topic with them.
Think of a thought you’d like to contest for the day. We all have our biases, but thinking about the counterpart helps open new doors. It prevents us from getting stuck in what many call the “echo chamber.” Once we have that thought, bring the kids along for the ride. It doesn’t have to be drastic. It can be as simple as trying bananas with soy sauce. Doing stuff like that is like an adventure they can share with friends.
Become friends with your kids’ classmates’ parents. This is especially helpful for kids who aren’t too open on the get-go. When they see their parents being friends with a co-parent at their school, they’ll see an avenue where they can start making friends. They finally have two things in common: the parents know each other, and they go to the same school.
Hang out with your own friends. When our kids see us hanging out with our friends, they’ll pick up ways to make friends too.

Some kids need a bit of a push to make friends

When kids feel lonely in school, they sometimes need a friend who’ll give them that push or open the door for them. Not because they have issues or anything, sometimes, it’s just their personality. Besides, the ability to confidently make friends and command the room is something we often expect from an adult. Not a kid.

However, loneliness doesn’t discriminate. Social struggles are usually resolved when there are some people involved. So when our kids are feeling lonely in school, it usually means they lack the tools that fit their personality to make friends. All they need is for us to provide it.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Is it normal for kids to feel lonely in school?

Yes. Feeling lonely doesn’t always mean something’s wrong. Kids experience loneliness for many reasons — personality differences, social dynamics, or simply being in a new environment. The important thing is to help them name what they feel and show that it’s valid.

How can parents tell if their child feels lonely?

Watch for subtle cues: eating lunch alone, fewer mentions of classmates, or sudden disinterest in school. Some kids withdraw quietly, while others act out. Gentle, nonjudgmental check-ins can open the door for conversation.

Should parents get involved in their child’s social life?

To a healthy extent — yes. Befriending other parents, joining school events, and modeling healthy friendships yourself can help kids learn social cues naturally. The goal isn’t to “fix” loneliness overnight, but to make connection feel safe again.

What role does technology play in friendships today?

Screens are where many kids socialize — through memes, chats, and games. Instead of banning devices outright, guide your kids on how to use them wisely. Help them balance online and offline connections so they can feel included while staying safe.

How can parents build their child’s confidence in making friends?

Start small. Encourage them to share hobbies, join clubs, or approach classmates with similar interests. Praise their courage to try, not just the outcome. Friendship takes time — and sometimes, all they need is a little push and a lot of reassurance.