Moms and Dads
5 Lessons Learned From Celebrity Miscarriages
These celebrities went through the pain of losing their unborn child. Here are lessons learned from celebrity miscarriages that we hope you find comfort in during Baby Loss Awareness Month.
Early this week, actress Alex Gonzaga and her husband Mikee Morada, confirmed that they lost what would have been their first child through a miscarriage. In an Instagram post, Alex said that the situation tested her and Mikee’s faith and that they just surrendered everything to God.
Alex is not the only celebrity who documented and talked about losing an unborn child. Several celebrities have also shared their thoughts about going through the ordeal.
From them, we listed five lessons we’ve learned from their situation and that we hope can help others as well.
5 Lessons Learned from Celebrity Miscarriages
1. The importance of ‘Are you okay?’
In an opinion piece for the New York Times, Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex opened about suffering a miscarriage while nursing her son, Archie. She recalled the heartbreaking moment in the article.
“Sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband’s heartbreak as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realized that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, ‘Are you OK?’” she wrote.
Meghan wrote that while others have shared their stories, it is a step towards moving on.
“We have learned that when people ask how any of us are doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and mind, the load of grief often becomes lighter – for all of us. In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing.”
In June 2021, Meghan and Harry welcomed their second child, Lilibet Diana.
2. The importance of your partner and family’s support
Having your family members is crucial in your time of grief. Your partner’s moral support also plays a big role because he will try to lessen the pain by making you busy with other things.
TV host Mariel Rodriguez-Padilla, who miscarried twice, recalled in a 2015 ABS-CBN interview with Boy Abunda how her husband, actor Robin Padilla, took care of her following the second time she lost their unborn child.
“I was really going to lose it already. I was about to go dark, I was bitter, I was not in a good place. And then Robin took me out of the country and he reassured me that the world would be okay even if it was just the two of us. He was able to make something bad positive. Na feel ko blessed pa din ako, Tito Boy,” she said.
Back then, she said the situation taught her that she might not be ready to have a child yet.
In 2016, Mariel and Robin welcomed their first daughter, Maria Isabella. In 2019, they were blessed with another daughter, Gabriela.
3. In God’s Perfect Time
Pregnancy news is a joyful occasion but there are times the so-called right time may not be the one at all.
Comedian Pokwang in 2015 suffered a miscarriage. It was her partner, actor Lee O’Brien, who confirmed the news. At that time, Pokwang, real name Marietta Subong, did not talk much about the miscarriage but posted a quote that read, “I put my trust in God’s promise.”
In 2017, Pokwang and Lee announced they were expecting a child. In January 2018, they welcomed their daughter Malia.
4. Prioritize yourself
Being a parent can be challenging and make you rethink your priorities in life. Singer Beyonce, who released some of the most memorable albums in the past decade including “Lemonade” in 2017, was asked by a fan in an Elle UK article about her thoughts of not winning awards for her albums.
“I began to search for deeper meaning when life began to teach me lessons I didn’t know I needed. Success looks different to me now. I learned that all pain and loss is in fact a gift. Having miscarriages taught me that I had to mother myself before I could be a mother to someone else. Then I had Blue, and the quest for my purpose became so much deeper,” she said.
“I died and was reborn in my relationship, and the quest for self became even stronger. It’s difficult for me to go backward. Being ‘number one’ was no longer my priority. My true win is creating art and a legacy that will live far beyond me. That’s fulfilling.”
Beyonce is married to Jay-Z and has three kids: Blue Ivy, and twins, Rumi and Sir.
5. Dads too feel the pain
It’s not only mothers who go through the pain and grief of losing their unborn child. Even husbands and fathers feel the pain but rarely show it.
Take That singer, Gary Barlow, opened up about the pain he and his wife Dawn went through after losing their daughter, Poppy, who was a stillborn child in 2012. The moment was included in his autobiography, “A Better Me”.
Speaking of that moment in 2018 at the Cheltenham Literature Festival, the “Love Won’t Wait” singer was quoted by BBC saying: “People say things like, ‘You’ve got three other kids,’ and people don’t really understand your pain. It makes it more painful.”
“Dawson’s Creek” star, James Van Der Beek, also shared his experience as a father and husband when his wife Kimberly went through a loss of pregnancy several times. In 2019, he said of the experience: “There are no words…” and it’s true. Which is why in a time like this it’s enough to know that you’re there.”
“Grieving AND counting our blessings today.”
In 2020, the actor shared that he and Kimberly went through another miscarriage. The experience, he said in an emotional post, reminded him and everyone to take care of each other.
“The world is in pain right now. There’s denial, shock, numbness, anger – all the old patterns we cling to when deep trauma is unearthed. And there are no words to ease that pain…to make the process hurt less or to solve it quickly,” he wrote.
“But the way out of it? It starts with an open, broken-hearted contemplation of this question: How can we take better care of each other? And to all the families who have gone through this…you are not alone.”
Despite the grief, both James and Gary are blessed with good families and successful careers. Thus, this gave them the push to move on.
The loss of a child can be devastating and traumatizing—as seen with the celebrity miscarriage stories shared above. It’s important to respect the couple’s feelings and not push beliefs that can only do more harm than help.