What Families Can Learn From Roger Federer’s Viral Commencement Speech at Dartmouth

Tennis legend and dad Roger Federer gives a moving and thoughtful commencement speech during the graduation of Class 2024 at Dartmouth University.

Not only is he hailed as one of the greatest tennis players, but Roger Federer now has three letters to add to the end of his name, PhD. Upon receiving an honorary Doctorate in Humane Letters, Roger remains as humble as ever, even noting how he only visited Dartmouth University’s campus twice in his life. And according to the tennis champ and dad, it was his “most unexpected victory,” considering that he was just supposed to give a commencement speech.

“Really, you have no idea how excited I am. Keep in mind, this is literally the second time I have ever set foot on a college campus. Second time ever,” Roger admits. “But for some reason, you are giving me a doctorate degree. I just came here to give a speech, but I get to go home as “Dr. Roger.” That’s a pretty nice bonus.”

Besides his humility, he offers wisdom, and here are some of the lessons Roger Federer shared during his commencement speech:

1. “Effortless is a Myth.”

“People would say my play was effortless. Most of the time, they meant it as a compliment… But it used to frustrate me when they would say, “He barely broke a sweat!” Or “Is he even trying?” Roger laughs, “The truth is, I had to work very hard… to make it look easy. I spent years whining… swearing… throwing my racket… before I learned to keep my cool.”

Whether it’s in our careers or parenting, we often find ourselves frustrated by the many social media posts that show how victorious or lucky others are. It frustrates us as we look at the history of all our hard work, seemingly invalidated by that one post. However, Roger does have a point: it takes years! That’s something we don’t see on social media or hear from people’s stories.

He even likens it to a version the kids may have seen in Dartmouth, “How many times did you feel like your classmates were racking up “A” after “A” without even trying… while you were pulling all-nighters… loading up on caffeine… crying softly in a corner of Sanborn Library? Hopefully, like me, you learned that “effortless” is a myth.”

2. “It’s okay not to know what to do.”

Even a champion like Roger Federer is sometimes at a loss for what to do next after “graduating from tennis.” I feel your pain, he tells the graduates during his commencement speech. “I know what it’s like when people keep asking what your plan is for the rest of your life. They ask me: “Now that you are not a professional tennis player, what do you do?” I don’t know… and it’s OK not to know.”

Graduating is like moving on to the next big thing in life just as it is like for us parents when we welcome a new baby or our kid finally finishes college. Eventually, we do find something to do. And for Roger, he’s found fun in life after tennis.

“So what do I do with my time?” Roger ponders for a moment while smiling. “I’m a dad first, so, I guess, I drive my kids to school? Play chess online against strangers? Vacuum the house? No, in truth, I’m loving the life of a tennis graduate.”

3. “It’s only a point.”

Although a tennis metaphor, Roger focuses on the mindset that occurs after “losing the said point.” When Roger Federer shared how his loss to Nadal at Wimbledon 2008 was brutal, he revealed how reducing that point to something in the past was something that allowed him to push forward.

“When it’s behind you, it’s behind you… This mindset is really crucial, because it frees you to fully commit to the next point… and the next one after that… with intensity, clarity and focus,” he shares. “The truth is, whatever game you play in life… sometimes you’re going to lose. A point, a match, a season, a job… it’s a roller coaster, with many ups and downs.”

But this doesn’t mean to say we should just ignore it. It’s perfectly natural to doubt yourself, to feel sorry for yourself when you’re down, Roger adds. “The best in the world are not the best because they win every point… It’s because they know they’ll lose… again and again… and have learned how to deal with it.”

4. “Life is bigger than the court.”

Although Roger Federer enjoys the fame he earned in the tennis circuit as “king of the grass court,” the journey and moments he’s gone through as that said individual is a lot sweeter. “Even when I was just starting out, I knew that tennis could show me the world… but tennis could never be the world,” he reveals.

His philanthropic work especially in early education — which earned him the honorary doctorate — was just as rewarding as the many trophies he won. It’s been an honor and humbling, he adds while recalling his first time explaining tennis to kids. “I vividly remember drawing a tennis court on the chalkboard for the kids to see, because I asked them what tennis was, and one kid said, “it’s the one with the table, right? With the paddles?”

He then laughs, “Pong again. It’s everywhere.”

A lot of times, we become so comfortable because we can already predict what’s about to happen. The routine of going to work, playing with the kids, or going to school — we find comfort in certainty but it’s when we get too comfortable that Life starts to look scary.

Roger Federer: “Whatever game you choose, give it your best!”

We win some, we lose some — that’s a lesson that most champions like Roger Federer learned both the hard way and the easy way. And as parents, there are some battles we lose. It doesn’t always have to be in our careers; sometimes, it can be against a ghost from our childhood or even against our kids! But when those times get hard, Roger Federer’s commencement speech has some encouraging words to chant as a mantra in our heads:

“All of you have so much to give, and I hope you will find your own, unique ways to make a difference.”

For the full transcription of the speech, check it out here!

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