To All My Teens’ “Mom” Friends: Thank You

When our kids don’t listen to us, they’ll listen to the one friend who has taken the role of mom in the group.

It’s a tough battle being the mom of a teen. The word “no” becomes more frequent and there will be a lot of clashes that we wish we could avoid. Sometimes, we jokingly hope to pawn off our teenagers to someone else. And it does happen. Not physically and legally but emotionally, we sometimes pawn off our teens to their “mom” friends instead. And to those “mom” friends, thank you.

“Why do they listen to that friend more than us?”

It may hurt at first that sometimes, our teens are more willing to listen to their peers than us. But we eventually realize that their peers might know the context better than we do. We’re still trying to figure out what problems we should or should not interfere with. Often with teens, it’s “damned if you do and damned if you don’t”. Either way, we get the short end of the stick. Something that doesn’t seem to apply to the friend that our teens see as a mother or parental figure.

“They don’t know anything!”

We parent a teen thinking that they’re still kids and are still not mindful of the things in the world. While there are some things that they are still not mindful of, that doesn’t mean that they are not completely unaware. As adults, we also went through this phase of developing our own perspectives. And teens don’t need someone who will command or tell them what is right and what is wrong. They need someone to walk with them. Support instead of order.

To the Parental Figure or “Mom” Friend in Our Teen’s Barkada: Thank You

You’re probably just as aware as we are of what kind of shenanigans our teen wants to do and try. Sometimes, you might even be their favored companion. But we’re glad that our teens trust you. Even if it means us taking a sidestep, thank you for being there for our teens. Thank you for watching their backs. We’ll be watching yours, too, should you need anything from us.

More about teen barkadas and dynamics:

The “Mom” Friend: Every Mom’s Favorite In Their Teens’ Barkada
How To Stop Our Gamer Kids’ and Teens’ Rage
Why Parenting A Teen Sometimes Feels Like A Fight For Control