How Can We Understand Our Kids’ Emotions?
On Parentalk 2022 Day 2, clinical hypnotherapist Sonia Samtani and Jes Tan Gan help create a road map on how we can understand and be more conscious of our kids’ emotions and feelings.
For the last 2 years, the pandemic has kept kids inside the house. Little to no playdates, no face-to-face classes, not being able to meet up with cousins — all of that can have an impact on our kids’ emotions and well-being. Jes Tan Gan shares, “The biggest challenge is managing our own emotions as parents. Because kids or just young ones in general, I find are very triggering to adults. Like if they don’t fit the certain standards of society, it’s very triggering to many.”
Am I being triggered by my kids’ emotions?
To stop ourselves from being triggered or being carried away takes a little bit of conscious parenting. Sonia Samtani describes conscious parenting as a kind of parenting with awareness. She shares, “You have to be more aware of why you’re saying the things you are to your kids. But sometimes, we can become too aware that we become fearful.”
Parenting is like gardening
Just like how we’re conscious of our emotions, we have to show our kids how they can be that way, too. Sonia explains that being a conscious parent is like being a gardener. She shares, “Plants will not grow when you tell them to. They have their own journey. But it’s still our job to fertilize the soil and water the plant. The same goes for kids. Children learn from their own experiences more than ours. Doing this allows us to move away from dos and don’ts, teaching them about choice.”
Doing this allows us to focus more on their behavior which Sonia shares keeps our kids’ self-esteem intact while encouraging them to learn and not get carried away by their emotions.
How does conscious parenting help us figure out our kids’ emotions?
During the talk, Sonia shares how conscious parenting stops us from creating “cookie-cutter children”. She shares, “Cookie-cutter children carry the same dysfunctions we have unconsciously. The same fears pass down but, if you’re aware — you can do something to avoid passing them down. We have to understand that our children are not us. We’re slowly but surely learning that our kids are not where our unfulfilled and unprocessed emotions go.”
Understanding our kids means understanding ourselves
When it comes to parenting, it doesn’t mean we have to be perfect. But there are things we need to be more conscious about especially when it comes to our kids, their emotions, and our own. As our kids grow and the pandemic is constantly changing families’ lives, it’s our goal now to make this place better for our kids. Catch more of Sonia and Jes Tan Gan on Parentalk as they talk more about the challenges of kids, emotions, and parenting.
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