Real Talk

5 Signs of Burnout and How Moms Can Recover

by Kevyn Gohu
March 12, 2025

Burnout is usually the last thing any mom considers as a problem for herself. Here are the signs of burnout and how to recover

It’s ironic. While every mom always says how we should “take it slow and relax” to avoid burnout, we’re the ones who can’t, don’t, and won’t. We’re the ones who are allegedly assigned to manage everyone, from family to the smallest dust bunny running away from the house storage. But we can’t do that forever; we’re only human, and our “burnout” will force us to make bad and wrong choices, which we’ll only notice with the benefit of hindsight.

Here are some of the signs of burnout in moms and how we can recover from it:

Here are the signs of burnout and how to recover.

Having difficulty letting go of the “silence”

“Give me five minutes” — we’ve used this line as moms over and over again to buy us reprieve or silence from the noisy home or work. But once the five minutes start and end, we extend it over and over again. Before we know it, we’ve said “five minutes” for almost two to six hours. This is a sign that our brain, because it’s constantly running on stress, finds rest novel for the body. Because of that, it becomes more addicting and will take twice the amount of effort to roll out of bed.

Feeling “fake” (when we’re not trying to be)

Some change their faces to fit the situation, but when we’re burned out, we always feel “fake,” even when we’re not trying to do so. We behave normally, but it’s a mechanical response, not a conscious one. This is what many neurodivergents, therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists call “masking.” This is a technique more common in women because of how attuned we are to people’s emotions.

We will “mask” our real feelings by adopting the emotions around people. It’s only after a while that we’ll notice that the exhaustion doesn’t come from the activities but from the loss of energy from trying to sustain the emotions we express in front of others.

Intrusive negative thoughts

While we’ve often cried out “kill me please” or “God, enough!” we usually say it as an expression of stress and frustration without necessarily meaning it. Intrusive negative thoughts during burnout, however, function differently. They whisper constantly in our ears until it becomes a mindset, and usually, it’s in the voice of someone who has been a constant source of our stress. Be it a colleague, a boss, or even our family members.

Even with our kids being so happy to be with us, we can’t connect with them because the negative thoughts are louder than their ability to connect.

When we’ve listened to them long enough, they cause us to isolate and set the foundation for what psychologists and psychiatrists diagnose as clinical depression.

A sudden craving for sweets

While sweets have sugar that gives us energy to sustain us, it’s concerning when we inhale an entire box of sweets without stopping. Our brains are designed to send signals to our bodies and vice-versa to take the necessary steps to ensure our survival, so if we feel burnt out, we will eat food that will supposedly “lift our spirits.” If we were just physically tired, a bit would do to get us going. But emotional burnout will give us a feeling of not being satisfied even with the body feeling good from the sugar.

Being unable to say “no”

Without the energy to assert our boundaries because of burnout, saying “no” can feel more expensive in terms of energy. Especially if we’re familiar with the person’s patterns and how explosive they get, we’ll feel it as a waste of time and additional weight to our burnout. Thus, we’ll just say “yes” so we can get it over with, and they’ll leave us alone. It’s not the most psychologically healthy thing, but in our burnout, we won’t recognize that it’s only a short-term remedy.

The worst part is when someone calls you out for not being able to assert your boundaries and tries to do it for you. We then end up micromanaging the emotions of two people, to which we either just shut down in silence or have an extreme meltdown.

How can moms recover from burnout and help others do so?

As moms, we have one talent that we’ve mastered over the years called emotional attunement. So, it’s time to put that to good use.

Recovery from burnout requires two people who are at least aware of the problem. Self-awareness and self-care may help but can cause problems in the long run, especially if not everyone’s aware. To the mom who’s burnt out, telling one person (most likely your partner) that you need time to recover from burnout does three things: 1) you are verbalizing and therefore commanding yourself to take a break, 2) you are letting yourself and your partner what you’re doing to replenish, and 3) you’re already telling them not to bother you.

For moms who recognize burnout in the people they know, especially at work, give them time to find their rhythm again. Coming down on them with your demands, especially when you’re a boss in the workplace, actually burns them out even more. Your subordinate will never tell you “no” or that they’re burned out. Why? It’s because of this existing unspoken rule: the employee is never right, the boss always is.

You’ll notice the signs based on their outputs and even their behaviors. If they’re making basic mistakes, talking less, or showing any of these signs, that’s the trifecta of the burnout. For this Women’s Month 2025, let empowerment be more compassionate. Because it’s easy to mend the body, but the mind? Not so much.