Moms and Dads

Shiela Valderrama & Nikki Valdez: When Motherhood Is Next To Normal

by Kevyn Gohu
February 11, 2025

As they play Diana Goodman in the Tony Award-winning musical Next To Normal, Shiela Valderrama and Nikki Valdez share their insights on motherhood and the character.

Let’s be honest, whenever mental illnesses and disorders are involved, it’s usually the kids who have it. Depression and anxiety, being the most common ones, have parents immediately blaming social media and technology. Yet, if the parent has it, who’s the culprit? In the case of Next to Normal‘s Diana Goodman, she had long been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Only to worsen after the death of her son, Gabriel.

That would be the challenge for both Shiela Valderrama and Nikki Valdez, playing and singing as Diana. With no specific physical mannerism attributed to the disorder and the sensitivity of the topic, there was a lot of research that had to be done.

“The crew often gave us workshops but I also watched films to decide on the nuances for my role [Diana Goodman],” shares Nikki.

“I also wanted to make sure to not give a stereotypical or caricature sketch for Diana,” Shiela intimates. “Each patient goes through unique obstacles and also has a comfortable way of coping or dealing with his struggles. So as an actor, I zeroed in on Diana’s strengths and more importantly, her weaknesses. It is her weaknesses that make her vulnerable, and that’s what makes Diana a regular human like you and me.”

Riding the rollercoaster of songs and emotions

The unfortunate truth is, it’s already a struggle even for trained professionals to diagnose such a hidden and unspoken disorder. What more for a regular person? But the trick to becoming more aware of something as hidden as Bipolar Disorder lies in recognizing a pattern in the Next To Normal musical — the quickness of the change from speaking to song.

“Next To Normal is ninety to ninety-five percent sung-through,” Nikki points out. “If there are any speaking lines, it’s usually the prelude to the next song.”

The rhythm of the songs from the rock ‘n’ roll “I’m Alive” (sung by Vino Mabalot or Benedix Ramos) to the mellow “Make Up Your Mind / Catch Me I’m Falling” (sung by Jef Flores and Shiela Valderrama or Nikki Valdez) perfectly showcases the turbulence of the reality-altering Bipolar Disorder. From hearing the voice of her deceased son to listening to the psychologist, managing the emotions accompanying the playlist and keeping them as organic as possible are one of the more notable challenges that Shiela had to face as Diana Goodman.

“I had to hurdle was how to pace my organic emotions alongside the rollercoaster of emotions that were written and created/implied/induced for Diana. That one… plus the tough music to which I sing my very core out to the audience AND to remain clear with my spoken lines intertwined with my number one mantra: truth in character every second I am Diana,” shares Shiela.

Watching Shiela and Nikki become Diana Goodman on stage to deliver an emotional and touching performance isn’t just a result of the hard work they’ve put into her. It was also because they all shared one thing with their role: being a mother.

Motivated by Motherhood

There are no words to completely capture a mother’s grief, especially when she loses her first child. When left unprocessed, the feelings can exacerbate underlying conditions. With Diana already suffering from Bipolar Disorder which can come with a side order of hallucinations and disembodied voices, the grief from her loss made it worse — something Nikki feels is what drew her to the role, especially with her advocacy for mental health and grief.

“The moment they sent me the synopsis and the music, I really wanted to do it,” Nikki shares. “It became more than just a musical for me now.”

For Shiela, it was more that her role as Diana came at the “right time.” It’s a role of a lifetime, she reveals. “I had to make sure that I had the mental, psychological, and physical capacity to take her [the role of Diana Goodman] on. It was as if thirty years of being on-and-off the stage prepared me for the role.”

Motherhood as Their Muse

But being Diana meant tapping also into their own experiences as mothers. If anything, the role of Diana confirmed and renewed their resolve as mothers. Being a mother doesn’t just mean running the household and dealing with the never-ending laundry list of tasks. Shiela points out that it’s also recognizing that the ability to do the aforementioned means keeping one’s mental health in top shape.

“Our mind needs to be in good condition as we navigate through life with our gazillion tasks for ourselves and for others in our life,” she adds. “After all, my most favorite role offstage is being a mother to my daughter. I want the best for her, and I want to be there for her at all times to guide her and celebrate life with her. She needs me to be in a good place, physically, emotionally, and mentally!”

Because when the mind is in a good place for longer periods of time, it then serves as a foundation for the strength needed to fight through the bad times. Nikki, as a mother of her teenage daughter, Olivia, found herself inspired to keep her family “intact” through both the good and the bad. After all, Diana fought for the same, willing to go through the various treatments — including Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT).

“Playing Diana made me deeply understand just how important it is to process and be open with your grief,” she shares. “It’s good to let ourselves experience the beauty of vulnerability, even if it means asking our children. It’s never a bad thing to ask for help so long as we are willing to help ourselves too.”

Because if there’s anything that playing Diana has taught them both, it’s that children are more perceptive than most people and even their own parents realize. It’s that realization that has Shiela becoming more meticulous as a mother ever since her acceptance of the role.

“Children grow up really fast, and interact with other people all the time. Playing Diana has made me more empathetic and understanding of others’ feelings,” she shares

Giving Next To Normal A Try

Every parent wants to give their children what they feel is the most normal childhood. But what is normal, really? There are rules here and there but those don’t apply to mental illnesses. After all, these have heartbeats acting as if they’re based on the weather and trapping people in moments where they live in their own heads. At some point, it’ll feel as Natalie Goodman (played by Jam Binay or Sheena Belarmino) sings, “… something Next to Normal would be okay.”

But that’s how we learn how to live with the little quirks in life. Each scene in Next To Normal passionately tackles mental illnesses in its complexity through the eyes of those who are affected the most. Not just those who are suffering from the illness but those, living within close proximity to them too. Although PG-13 due to the topics on suicide and drug abuse, the musical sets the stage for families to have a heart-to-heart conversation. So, do bring tissues. Some of the scenes, especially for mothers and daughters, will definitely hit home!

Next To Normal will be running from February 1 to 23, 2025 at the Power Mac Center Spotlight, Circuit Makati. Tickets start at PHP2,500 and can be ordered from their website.