Spotlight

Bianca Roque Brandner: Navigating Life’s Authentic Design

by Kevyn Gohu
November 16, 2024

As a personal mastery and wellbeing coach, mom of three Bianca Roque Brandner shares how parents can be more intentional in raising and guiding their children

Every human desires authenticity and connection with their inner world — a premise that life coach Bianca Roque Brandner bases her life coaching and parenting on.

The reminder, however, wasn’t something she spun overnight. Her existing fascination for people’s unique experiences and behaviors served as its foundation, further fuelling her gravitation toward conversations that delved deeper into the human narrative. They’re [the conversations] deeply enriching, she admits. “Listening to stories about life experiences, challenges, hidden messages, and lessons we uncover along the way — I’ve always been drawn to understanding human behavior and personal development.”

Her passion for these stories only intensified especially when she began to raise her three children.

The Epiphanies found in Life Coaching and Motherhood

Motherhood, according to Bianca, helped her become a more relatable life coach, offering various transformative experiences and opportunities. Raising her children made her aware of the wounds of her inner child and just how neglected her inner landscape was. They deserve better, she realized. “Understanding and taking care of my inner world became the first step into becoming a better guide for my children and the mother they deserve.”

Unfortunately, the more common approach to communicating and attuning to one’s inner child is more reparative — a method that Bianca struggled to resonate with. Although it took her some time to find mental health professionals who could offer her the support she sought, the rewards and the wait were well-worth it. “It didn’t just transform my relationship with myself,” she recalls. “Even my relationship with others!”

“I wasn’t broken,” she adds. “There was nothing to fix; only parts of me to embrace and understand. Instead of fitting the mold, I learned to embrace how I’m uniquely designed — leaning into my strengths, recognizing where I can grow, and getting clearer on who I want to be and how I can show up for myself, my family, and my dreams.”

Inspired by the support and healing the coaches provided her, Bianca decided to pay it forward and become a life coach herself. “I saw how powerful it was to have someone by my side as I navigated life’s transitions and difficult situations. This truly inspired me to study coaching and offer this kind of support to others who might be walking a similar path.”

Life Coaching: Building parents’ inner guidance and compass

As a life coach to many parents, Bianca focuses on empowering them to be more intentional in their choices. But it really depends on what they need at the moment, she adds. “It’s kind of like a dance. As a coach, I had to learn how to hold my space to let my clients process their feelings and thoughts. But I also had to learn to know when to challenge them to move forward.”

The first step to starting that journey of personal development, according to Bianca, requires some self-awareness which would serve as the foundation to access two important tools: trust in one’s intuition and embodiment. It’s how she keeps herself stable even when things are in a state of imbalance, she reveals. “I feel more grounded, less pressured to conform, and it taught me to embrace my own pace and rhythm and freely express myself as I am. It helped me reconnect with my power and learn to trust my intuition more. I’ve learned how to support myself when things feel out of balance.”

Especially since she and her family live in an era where people’s opinions about parenting are more audible whether on social media or at family gatherings, many have confided in her about mom guilt, exhaustion, and trying to follow someone else’s standards of what it means to be a good mom — the ever-nurturing mom who always has time to whip up a homecooked meal or join her children in arts and crafts. Amidst the hollering of expectations, she asks the question many dare not to ask, “But what if that’s not you?”

“Just because you do things differently doesn’t make you any less of a mom,” she comforts, familiar with how difficult it can be to wrap one’s mind around that kind of thinking. “You have your own way of showing your kids love, so empower that, and remind yourself that it’s okay to do things differently as long as it works for your family. We can’t always be kind and gentle; we’re human and we’re bound to be short-fused sometimes.”

The premise also applies to the concept of self-care, which she says is also part of every parent’s responsibility to themselves and to their families. “We all know we can’t pour from an empty cup and it’s not selfish to take the time to do things that fill us up. Taking care of ourselves is a responsibility, not a selfish act. We do it for other people all the time. The thing is — can we permit ourselves to do it? Can we give ourselves more grace?”

Living in a more mindful world

Now with a heightened level of awareness, the world of modern-day parents begins to witness a shift in paradigm. Some have begun to question the traditional rules, unearth and recognize generational traumas, and peel back the layers that have covered their authentic self. But according to Bianca, these pursuits all come from wanting to become genuine and connected to their authentic selves.

“People have begun to recognize the connection between mental health, self-awareness, and even understanding their life’s purpose,” she reveals. “It’s why I always tell my clients that all feelings are invited to our sessions. Our emotions give us so much intel on what’s really going on inside us and could give us clues on our way forward. So when clients show up with a lot of anger, fear, shame, etc. I try to hold space for them (with my clients’ permission and readiness) and see the message that wants to be delivered.”

Especially for parents who become vulnerable to the guilt that comes with the realization that they’ve hurt their children despite being well-meaning, Bianca reveals that dealing with the guilt also means helping them choose to connect with their authentic selves. By doing so, they recognize the need to support their children to live life authentically.

“Kids come into the world already naturally aligned with their true selves and fully living their design. When I work with parents, I help them understand their child’s individual human design so they can support and nurture who their child truly is. The work that we do is around guiding parents to celebrate and respect their child’s natural tendencies, helping them grow in a way that feels authentic and empowering,” she explains.

Empowered by her connection to her authentic self

As she continues to embrace her own unique human design, Bianca finds that motherhood has added an exclusive spin to it too. Throughout the years, she reveals a change in her parenting approach — one that’s filled with more empathy and respect for her children.

“I’ve also found that as I became more understanding and forgiving of myself, this compassion naturally extended to how I parent. The more I’ve accepted my own imperfections the more I was able to offer my kids the same acceptance, allowing them to feel safe in being exactly who they are, see the beauty in their uniqueness, and be able to advocate for themselves,” she realizes.

While it may feel difficult because of how much energy it seems to take especially in resisting the urge to immediately correct their mistakes, watching the kids grow into who they are meant to be as they develop a sense of faith, trust in their intuition, and the ability to embrace their individuality and advocate for themselves are rejuvenating enough.

“There’s nothing quite like witnessing their confidence grow as they embrace their unique strengths and personalities,” she reveals. “My hope is for them to embrace who they are and be able to advocate for themselves, to feel safe enough in their voices to set their boundaries, and hold their NO’s confidently.”

But Bianca’s journey to empowering others to embrace and reconnect with their authentic selves is not just limited to her three children. There’s a fourth — her inner child who she lovingly reminds in an internal dialogue that she’s perfect the way she is. “There’s nothing about you that’s too much or that’s not enough! Yes, there might be some things you need to hone and learn but that doesn’t take away from your worth!”

She adds, “Also, you’re not meant to be liked by everyone — and that’s okay! No one is! You don’t have to get along with everyone. Focus on the ones who make your heart smile and stay close to them — they’re your people. Oh and don’t be afraid to experiment, find the things that light you up — no matter how silly or unconventional they are!”

As she continues to coach herself and other parents, Bianca Roque Brandner achieves the peace her family can thrive best in. The peace is not just for herself but also for her children. It’ll eventually become the wellspring of their stability and resilience as they navigate through a world full of people wherein there will always be that one person who will insist that their authentic selves are not enough.

Words KEVYN GOHU-CATINGUB
Photography ED SIMON OF KLIQ, INC.
Art Direction DENIELLE CARAG
Makeup TWINKLE BERNARDO
Hairstyling ANGELI ALFONSO
Shoot Coordination ANTHONY MENDOZA
Sittings Editor MARGA MEDRANO-TUPAZ

Special Thanks to BAMBI REYES JAVELOSA of BAMBI’S KITCHEN