Moms and Dads

A Parent’s Life When the Kids Aren’t Kids Anymore

by Kevyn Gohu
July 24, 2023

Tessa Nepomuceno sheds some light on a parent’s life after much of the parenting is done.

When our kids become legal adults at 18 years old, it’s hard for some of us to believe the traditional premise that the parenting journey is done. It usually starts when the kids go to college or work. Similar to how CALLI’s owner and founder, Tessa Nepomuceno, is still a little hands-on, although not as much. “I’d like to think I’m still very hands-on. Because I still take care of them and cook for them every day. My daily routine is I wake up in the morning then I have to make sure that they have food on the table.”

But she shares an interesting tidbit about her life as a single mother to two adult kids. “A lot of people say that they’re more like my brothers now,” she laughs.

Age doesn’t always change how kids are with their parents

Most parents would say that when kids grow older, they become less clingy and less affectionate. However, Tessa shares that’s not the case with her two boys. “They always go to my room and greet me good morning and check on me,” she smiles at the thought. “It’s become a part of our daily lives.”

But she’s most especially proud of her boys’ maturity, especially for Khalil, whose involvement in the entertainment industry does anger the mama in her every so often. “I even told him I would make a bogus account because I felt it wasn’t fair,” she joked. “But he would tell me to let it go. It just comes to show how mature he is now. In the entertainment industry, they will always have negative things to say, but I would tell him not to let it get to him.”

She even shares how she’s the first to hear the news if he received an award or a hard-earned gig. “He would tell me, ‘Mommy, I got this position,’ or ‘I got this’ still. Something like that.”

And while Khalil is still working his way up the red carpet, her youngest, Samuel, is finishing school after shifting from the arts to business management.

What Tessa does now with all the time left for herself

With her sons 27-year-old Khalil and 20-year-old Samuel Ramos pursuing their passions in work and in college, Tessa reveals how she’s used the newfound free time on her hands. “I re-launched my brand after 10 years,” she beams. “CALLI aims to keep the carving community alive. A lot of times, these skills aren’t passed down to the younger generations because there aren’t many opportunities to encourage them to get into it.”

While she redirects her energy to her passion for creating bespoke carved and woven bags, Tessa reveals that much of her time has been spent reconnecting with some friends. “Back then, I couldn’t just go out without bringing one of them. Now, I can hang out with friends, travel out of the country, and have dinner with them. But I do miss being a mom now and then,” she admits.

Looking back as a single mom

Tessa’s reminiscing is not one of regret. It’s one filled with contentment that she was able to put her boys through school and keep food on the table as a single mom. “Paying for their tuition fees, affording all their needs — but God is good,” she confides. “He provided me a business that allowed me to provide for my kids. Back then, I just wanted them to finish school. But now, they’re even helping me with the business. The brand is doing well, maybe not as big as others but well. That makes me content and happy.”

For many single moms like Tessa, that’s their definition of success in a nutshell.

How does a parent handle all that overwhelming amount of freedom and time?

When the chapter on hardcore and hands-on parenting comes to a close, what’s a parent to do when their kids are grown and they now have so much time? Is it possible to still pursue their passions?

For Tessa, it’s a bit of a mindfulness exercise. “Take the time to examine your passion. Is it selling? Because if you don’t love it, it’ll be harder to push yourself to do it. You now have the time to reflect and think deeply about what you want to do,” she advises.