Moms and Dads

11 Common Triggers of Mom Rage and How to Manage Them

by Gretchen Gatan Fragada
April 27, 2023

With so many responsibilities to handle, it’s no surprise that many moms experience mom rage.

Motherhood is one of the most rewarding experiences in life. However, it’s not always an easy journey. As a mom, you’re expected to juggle multiple responsibilities simultaneously. On top of taking care of your kids and managing the household, many work from home or report to the office. And with all of these demands, it’s no surprise that sometimes, moms can experience moments of intense frustration and anger. This is commonly referred to as mom rage. Understanding the common triggers of mom rage can help mothers identify and manage their emotions better.

How to Manage parent rage — Photo by RODNAE Productions

Common Triggers of Mom Rage

1. Undone Tasks

One of the most common triggers of mom rage is when there are unfinished tasks or chores. Whether it’s the pile of laundry that needs to be folded, dirty dishes in the sink, or toys scattered around the house, it can be overwhelming for a mom to see that her to-do list is piling up.

2. Sleep Deprivation

Lack of sleep is a common struggle for new moms, which can lead to irritability and mood swings. When you’re sleep-deprived, even minor inconveniences can feel like major problems.

3. The Need for a Break

As much as mothers want to be superwomen, they need breaks, too. When you feel like you haven’t had a chance to relax or take some time for yourself, it can be easy to snap at your kids or partner.

4. Changes in Plans

When things don’t go according to plan, it can be stressful. Whether it’s a canceled playdate or a last-minute appointment, unexpected changes can throw off your whole day.

5. Clutter and Mess

An untidy house can add to every mother’s stress level. It’s challenging to relax and enjoy your time at home when the clutter is everywhere.

6. Hunger

When you’re hungry, it’s difficult to function at your best. Being a mom means that you’re often on the go, which can make it challenging to find time to eat. But skipping meals can make you irritable and more prone to mom rage.

7. Overstimulation

Too much noise, light, or activity can be overwhelming for both moms and their children. When you’re overstimulated, it’s challenging to focus and stay calm.

8. Feeling Stuck

When you feel like you’re stuck in a rut, it can be very frustrating. Whether it’s feeling like you’re not making progress in your career or you’re not doing enough for your kids (also known as mom guilt), feeling stuck can lead to mom rage.

9. Crying or Fussiness of the Baby

When your baby is crying or fussy, it can be overwhelming and challenging to deal with. It’s hard not to take it personally when your baby won’t stop crying. And it can make you feel like you’re failing as a mom.

10. Defiance of a Toddler

Toddlers are notorious for their defiance. When your toddler refuses to listen or follow your instructions, it can be incredibly frustrating.

11. When Kids Won’t Nap or Sleep

Sleep is essential for both moms and kids. When your child refuses to nap or sleep, which can lead to them becoming cranky, it can throw off your whole routine and leave you exhausted and irritable.

How to Manage Mom Rage

If you find yourself struggling to get through the day because of your anger, there are different things you can do to calm yourself down.

1. Take a deep breath and count to ten

When you feel yourself getting angry, take a deep breath and count to ten. This technique can help you slow down your heart rate and clear your mind, allowing you to think more rationally and calmly.

2. Step away from the situation

Sometimes, the best way to calm down is to remove yourself from the situation. If something is triggering your anger, step away for a moment. You can go to another room and take a few minutes to collect yourself.

3. Practice self-care

It’s crucial to take care of yourself to prevent burnout and manage stress levels. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s taking a warm bath, practicing yoga, getting a massage, playing your favorite game, or reading a book.

4. Seek support

Talking to someone who understands your situation, such as a partner, friend, or therapist, can be incredibly helpful. Venting your frustrations and receiving support and empathy can help you feel less alone and better equipped to manage your emotions.

5. Apologize and make amends

After calming down, it’s essential to apologize to your child or partner for any hurtful words or actions. Let them know that you love them and that your behavior was not their fault. Making amends can help repair the relationship and model positive conflict resolution skills.

Mom rage is a real and understandable experience for mothers. Understanding the triggers that can cause it can help you manage your emotions better and have a more fulfilling parenting experience. Remember to take breaks, ask for help, and take care of yourself, so you can be the best mom possible.