Real Talk
Why Many Couples Choose to Be DINKs (Dual Income, No Kids)
DINKS (dual income, no kids) is the new name for couples who are pursuing their careers and choosing not to have kids.
DINKs, which stands for “dual income, no kids,” is a new term that refers to couples who choose not to have kids. These couples without children live together and are pursuing their respective careers. And because they are both bringing more money into the same household, their money goes to them, as they do not need to raise children.
But not all of them have given up on the concept of having a family. Those refer to a sub-category of DINKs called DINKY (dual income, no kids yet). Here’s why they’re holding off on having kids or choosing not to have kids just yet.
1. They’re migrating to another country.
Some countries have tight requirements for migration due to inflation and rising crime rates—making it harder for families to move to another country. At the same time, preparing to migrate takes a lot of time and attention, which can leave a child feeling neglected. Depending on which country has a market for their job that offers better benefits and pay, the requirements for entry will differ.
Canada is one such country that has changed its financial requirements for immigrants.
2. The place is too small to raise a kid.
Cuts for land and housing are getting smaller and more expensive and any parent would want their home to have a space where their kids can run around and play. Although many condominiums are sprouting, many 2 BR units are around 30 to 60 sqm and cost around PHP 18,000,000, which is still expensive and small.
With little to no space to raise a kid, let alone multiple children, most parents want to hold off on child-rearing until they can afford a bigger space. And even more so with the hybrid set-up, as DINKS couples want designated spaces for both work and home.
3. They’re not comfortable with their financial margin.
We know money isn’t everything, but it solves 80% of our problems. Putting kids through school, buying necessities, paying for utilities, and then spending money for leisure—these all can eat away at their savings. Even more so when they get sick. Hospital bills are no joke!
DINKs, like many parents, want their kids to live comfortably even when they’re gone. Thus, making a profit is important for them. Once the heavy lifting of the parenting journey is done, they’ll still have some to enjoy life for themselves. But before anything else, most parents want to focus on growing their finances first.
4. They have underlying medical issues and concerns.
When it comes to reproductive issues, many of us are still learning the ins and outs of it. Adenomyosis, Endometriosis, APAS, and even Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) are just some of the conditions that science still hasn’t found the cause of. And while many doctors are developing ways to properly and permanently treat them, the road to success is still far.
Coupled with the shame that the afflicted navigate and grapple with, some DINKs prefer using “finance” as the issue which, in a way, still is. Fertility treatments are not cheap and there’s only so much heartbreak a couple can take.
5. Adoption isn’t easy.
Even with the law streamlining the adoption process, it still takes time and money. The screening process can also be quite harrowing and although it’s a necessity, the stress can take a toll. Organizations will dig up everything they can to ensure the child goes to a good home. Some even make surprise visits!
The repeated demands and roundabout processes will, at some point, even discourage the couple who just want to have a child of their own.
6. The overall readiness or the “emotional maturity” to have a family.
Couples nowadays place a high value on emotional maturity. That means properly dealing with all the trauma and unresolved feelings from growing up when their parents were still navigating the parenting scene.
A lot of couples want to do this by going through therapy or traveling around the world to find answers first before starting a family of their own. That way, when they have kids, they’re sure that they don’t continue the cycle.
It’s okay to want to have kids “later in life.”
There’s no perfect time to have kids; usually, couples make that decision after feeling confident about facing all the changes having kids brings.
Physiological health is also something that today’s DINKs couple feel is easier to deal with. A change in diet, lifestyle, and even beliefs—it’s a lot easier to do that for oneself than another person. It may sound selfish but, this generation was taught to look into the future.
And as far as many millennial couples who are (or choose to be) DINKs are concerned, the future is currently bleak and not a place they want to raise their kids.
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