Real Talk

Joan Gallares: The Lasting Gift of Lifescribing

by Joan Gallares
December 19, 2024

Author and lifescribing mentor Joan Gallares speaks to Modern Parenting on how writing your life stories for future generations can foster long connections.

“I’m writing a letter to your Mama,” Papa said, sitting at the breakfast table. “I started with our early days when it was just the two of us.” It was the second morning of Mama’s wake at our family home, and everything still felt like the air had been knocked out of the room.

Papa continued, “One time, we had a date at a restaurant with a jukebox. I told her, ‘I’m going to play a song on that jukebox. You tell me if you like it. If you do, it will become our theme song.’” She agreed, and that’s how What Am I Living For? by Percy Sledge became theirs.

During my Mama’s wake, stories of her filled our home. With each memory, her presence felt real again—she was more than the ache we felt; she was kindness, warmth, and laughter. I realized then that stories are what remains of us in the hearts of our loved ones. They’re what endure.

About a year before this loss, I had started writing down my own life stories for my daughter, who was four at the time. The impulse came during the pandemic when I feared the coronavirus might take me. I wanted to create something lasting for her—a legacy of memories and lessons. This practice became the foundation of what I now call Lifescribing. But it was losing my mom that made me truly feel the depth of this practice and why I had to share it.

What is Lifescribing?

Lifescribing is the practice of writing one’s life as a legacy—capturing memories, stories, and reflections to pass down through generations. It’s not about perfect prose; it’s about documenting your life with heart, honesty, and a sense of purpose. Lifescribing lets us share who we are beyond our roles, allowing our children to see us as whole people with dreams, challenges, and moments of joy.

It’s also a way of honoring those who came before us. When we write about our lives, we often find traces of our ancestors whose choices, sacrifices, and stories shaped our paths.

A journey of self-discovery

Lifescribing soon became something for myself, too. As I wrote, I found myself reconnecting with past versions of myself—the shy child, the idealistic teenager, the searching young adult. Revisiting these moments allowed me to look at them with compassion and understanding. Lifescribing became a way of embracing who I was and who I was becoming, piece by piece.

This experience was so meaningful that I wrote a book about it and eventually created the Authors Circle, a program where I could personally guide others on the journey of writing their legacy books.

How to begin Lifescribing

If you don’t already have a writing practice, ease into Lifescribing by letting your intention take root. Start with simple questions: How well do I know my parent or child? How well do they know me? Consider the stories you wish you’d heard from your parents or the questions your children might someday have. Reflect on the memories that capture who you are and the legacy you want to leave behind.

One way to bring Lifescribing into your family’s routine is to share prompts at the dinner table. Tell me about your childhood home. What did you dream of becoming when you were young? Let mealtime become a space for storytelling. You can document these stories later in your legacy journal.

A legacy of connection

Lifescribing isn’t just about leaving words on a page; it’s about creating a legacy of connection with your loved ones.

So, pick up a pen and start with what you remember about yourself or someone you love. Ask yourself those simple questions and see where your story leads.

Lifescribing is a way to show that your life was lived fully and that your love endures.

Joan Gallares is the author of Lifescribing: A Soulful Companion for Writing Your Legacy Story. You may reach her on Instagram @joangallares or via email at [email protected].

This story about Joan Gallares first came out in Modern Parenting’s special Holiday 2024 Print Edition available on https://sarisari.shopping/.