Joy and Edric Mendoza: How Apologizing to Your Kids is Important
Content creator Joy Mendoza captured the magical moment where Edric and Edan understood each other better through apologizing.
As parents, it’s difficult to accept our mistakes because we grew up with the idea that parents are not allowed to make mistakes. But accepting that we do make mistakes can be liberating especially when our kids are a lot older and will call us out for things we did that hurt them. Content creator Joy Mendoza posted a “magical” moment where her husband, Edric, and their second son, Edan, apologized to one another—marking it as a learning moment for both on how to listen.
Joy: “It wasn’t easy for Edric to hear.”
Like most parents, it wasn’t easy for Edric to hear what Edan didn’t like. But Joy offers comfort for moments like these, writing, “While it can be discouraging to feel like we fail and mess up when our children correct us or openly share their frustrations and hurts, God can turn these revelations into a blessing.”
It’s hard to accept that as parents, we’re not as ‘infallible’ as our parents. We grew up with the tradition that elders are the family’s compass. Their age is equivalent to wisdom which then makes their explanations more correct. But we also have to remember that we were once children and have developed our own wisdom to which Joy points out, writing, “Our children’s perspective and input are so valuable because they are witnesses to our lives 24/7. When they express what we need to improve on, most of the time, it’s accurate!”
Similar to how we rely on other gadget users for more accurate reviews of smartphones or laptops, the same thing goes with parenting. It’s about perspective; parents create the tools for parenting, kids are the users and they will have suggestions, complaints, and commendations.
Parenting is not about being perfect; it’s a work in progress.
Becoming a parent should not impose or demand that we become perfect and infallible beings. We are human; we will make mistakes. Our wisdom as parents are born from making those mistakes. The more we make and become aware of them, the wiser we get. Accepting mistakes isn’t just about wisdom but also about, honesty as Joy states: “If our goal is to become more like Christ, then the best response is not to be defensive or to explain away our mistakes, but to commend their honesty, encourage them to keep us accountable, and of course, respond to their longing to be heard and understood.”
As parents, we need to remember that humility isn’t just about accepting our mistakes. It’s also discovering how to be the parents our kids need, not the ones we want to be.
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