10 Signs That Your Teen Is The “Mom” Friend In Their Barkada

We’re proud when our teens develop a strong sense of empathy but, it might be so much that they become the “mom friend”.

Every mom would appreciate their teens having a “mom” friend. They’re good influences on their teens; they do their best to keep both of them out of trouble. But while we do appreciate them, sometimes, it’s our teens who take the role of being the “mom” friend in the barkada. They’re the ones who become emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically available to their friends, willing to move mountains even if it means going against our wishes. There are certain signs that reveal that our teens are the “mom” friend, though usually, we let it pass us by.

Here are some signs to take note of when our teens become the “mom” friend.

1. Your teens get into really peculiar situations.

While a lot of kids — especially teens — complain about life, they always have that one friend who’s ready to set them straight. And sometimes, our kids will be that friend. You will find your kids saying something things beyond their age. It’s a shocking sense of wisdom that you didn’t know they had.

2. They start using our expressions.

We all have our own expressions of things. From “wait until your father gets home” to “sasapakin kita“, our kids may pick up these statements and use them on their own friends. Learning languages among kids don’t mean just learning how to say them. They learn when to use it, too!

3. Their friends’ moms thank you for your teen!

If it’s not from your kid or their friends then, it’s from the friend’s mom! It may come as a shock to us especially when they tell you how our kids prevent their kids from drinking too much, and the sort. It’s a proud mama moment definitely. Also, it’s a nice sign that tells us that our kids are listening to us.

4. They’re always seemingly stressed.

Our kids take on the load of taking care of other people. Because of that, they always appear stressed. If it’s not because of schoolwork or not knowing what to eat for lunch, it’s because they’re taking care of a friend that did something crazy again.

5. Their friends’ parents call them!

It’s confusing and shocking to know that their friends’ parents call them, asking them how their kids are. But that’s just how trustworthy our kids are that other parents trust them. In a way, that’s a big win and compliment in our books, mama!

6. Our teens show more wisdom than adults.

When teens say the darnedest of things, some of them may just have big nuggets of wisdom in them. As we try to parent our teens, sometimes, our command of the English and Filipino vocabulary isn’t enough to express that. But there are just some teens who have that ability and that’s how they become the “mom” friend.

7. Our perceptions and their friends’ perceptions of them mismatch.

Ironically, some of us find it difficult to comprehend that our kids are capable of being “moms” to their friends. Yet, the stories of their friends don’t seem to add up with our experiences with them. Their friends tell stories about how our kids always try to make a “safe space” for them. Whereas at home, our kids don’t even bother leaving their room.

Studies have shown however that kids sometimes offer to their peers what they don’t have at home to cope with the idea of not being able to have it. But there are also some studies that show that teens learn how to offer safe spaces from us. Two different theories, the same result.

8. Abstract and emotional reasoning is not hard for them.

As far as Kohlberg’s Moral Development Stages Theory is concerned, teens don’t normally understand emotions too well because it’s not concrete. However, there are some teens that have that ability. They have a strong sense of Insight, allowing them to see things that most teens don’t.

9. They’re always prepared for everything.

The most obvious sign that our teens became the mom friend in the group is they start mirroring the one thing that makes us moms: bringing everything sans the kitchen sink! From alcohol, tissue, disposable toilet seats, medicine, and even notebooks full of emergency numbers, they have it all.

10. Always the one to do the responsible stuff

From head counts to organizing parties, they can do it either on the fly or with planning. But a lot of times, our teens take charge. Leadership and parenthood do have some similarities. But while fame and glory usually motivate leadership, compassion and empathy motivate parenthood.

It’s good to be mature but don’t let our teens mature too quickly!

Although parents say it’s a good thing for teens to be mature, it also has its disadvantages. Some of these can include purposeful self-isolation because they find themselves annoyed with “typical teen problems”. Other times, it makes them forget to care for themselves. Our teens learn via mimicry and Social Learning which means, they learn how to treat themselves and others through us.

Looking for other signs in kids and their moms?

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