Why We Should Stop Labeling Kids as Being Good or Bad
It’s important to send the message that our children are loved the way they are. So let’s stop labeling kids as good kids or bad kids!
When we tie our kids’ behaviors to their inherent worth, whether they’re ‘good’ or ‘bad’, there’s a certain pressure for them to live up to. And sometimes, that can backfire and lead to more unwanted behavior. Questions or phrases like, “Were you a good girl today?”, “Be a good boy and listen to your teachers!”, and “You’re being naughty!” can have repercussions. So as modern parents, it’s our job to stop labeling kids as good or bad.
Making a mistake is okay
When our kids make a mistake, it doesn’t make them bad children. They simply need to learn from that mistake with a bit of guidance and gentle parenting. They also don’t need to be perfect or ‘good’ all the time. They’re human beings after all—just like us! We should stop holding them to a standard so high that even we can’t attain it.
Moreover, when children start to think of themselves as ‘bad’, they’re more likely to develop low self-esteem and may even give up trying to be good. What they need to hear from us is that they are good kids no matter what they do. Making a mistake is okay, and we can work with them to handle things better next time.
Let’s not raise people pleasers
On the other hand, those ‘good’ kids who sit quietly and don’t cause any problems by not pushing back might end up as people pleasers when they become adults. They’ll have trouble being vocal about their needs and boundaries—especially to someone who is treating them badly.
What to do instead of labeling kids
If you’re wondering how you can talk about a good or hard moment, stick to talking about the behavior instead of labeling kids. Phrases like, “You’re feeling angry and that’s okay. What’s not okay is hurting someone.” or “You had a hard day today. I’m here for you.”
Let your children know that their behavior doesn’t define who they are. After all, they are loved, valued, and accepted in your eyes.
More on toddler parenting:
8 Things to Say to a Crying Toddler Instead of “Stop Crying”
How These Working Moms with Toddlers are Managing Without a Yaya
Teaching Girls to Be Strong and Assertive is Not the Same as Being Rude
