Kids

Why Following Your Kids’ Interests Builds Better Relationships With Them

by Kevyn Gohu
December 7, 2023

The secret to getting kids to listen to us sometimes lies in following their interests.

Kids’ interests vary nowadays, jumping from something wholesome like My Little Pony or Barbie to something dark and creepy like Netflix’s Wednesday. Chalk it up to age if we can’t wrap our heads around why our kids like such things but, there’s no age limit to trying to follow the interest. Even if it means knowing the basics, keeping that as stock knowledge builds the friendship aspect of parenting. Besides that, here are other reasons why it’s good modern parenting to follow your kids’ interests.

1. More analogies to use when explaining or disciplining the kids.

Although some psychologists frown at “commercializing” (e.g. using songs and pop culture to teach, etc.) lessons, these movies, cartoons, and music that kids are interested in simplify the process. It offers concrete examples that kids and teens can associate with because they know how the story goes. Besides, most pop culture plotlines and music refer to real-life experiences which they may come across in their lives.

2. It gives you an idea how our kids think.

We can’t be with our kids 24/7 and when they become teens, they start telling us less about their lives. So, their interests will serve as the proverbial “key” to open the door: by following our kids’ interests, we have an overview of where their minds are. For example, when kids or teens invest in a series’ character, it’s because they feel that the character and they are going through the same thing. The character’s personality and development throughout the franchise comforts them with a certainty of how things will play out if they behave in a certain way.

3. Builds rapport with your kids’ friends.

When the kids don’t tell us anything, the next best source is their friends. But to appeal to our kids’ friends, we need to follow their interests so they’ll feel more comfortable. Showing them that we are aware of their interests appeals to familiarity; they’ll feel that they can trust us and have their friends’ [our kids’] best interests at heart because we know what they like (even though we always do!).

4. It keeps our minds lucid and sharp.

We’re all lifelong learners and pop culture can offer clues and parenting lessons on how to engage our kids. Our frustration, distress, and sometimes, fatigue hits us harder because we run out of ways to solve a problem and we can’t keep up with our kids’ thinking processes. Although we may not agree with some modern-day interests, following what our kids like keeps our minds open and exercises our ability to properly debate with more current information. Meaning, less arguments at home about how to proceed with things.

5. Adds a little more play into our lives.

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” — that adage sticks even with parents! Learning our kids’ interests can be a sort of fresh air from our usual busy lives. We need to decompress from thinking so much as a parent. It’s a form of self-investment to find new hobbies and our kids are the source of that information. Besides, it also gives us more things to talk about with our own friends!

Knowledge is power to engage our kids more!

Modern parenting requires a more creative approach. Unlike traditional parenting which emphasizes power and authority, its counterpart challenges parents to be more innovative and animated in a way. Following our kids’ interests kind of practices our memory also, keeping away that memory loss and brain fog because we’re finding new things to associate and construct our minds. Plus, it’ll keep away the mental fatigue when dealing with our kids too because now that extra layer of trying to relate with them is a lot thinner or at best, gone.