Real Talk

Why We Should Normalize Giving Practical Gifts

by Kevyn Gohu
December 23, 2023

Practical gifts may not be as glamorous but for our generation, we don’t mind that it doesn’t look that great so long as it helps!

Gift-giving has its implications and culture among Filipino families. Even at weddings — everybody likes giving a big gift because it usually means it’s expensive. Small gifts usually mean that the one giving has fallen hard on financial times or they’re being thrifty (or kuripot) which is highly frowned upon.

Families see celebrations are all about “going all out,” including gift-giving too! (Carbayas and Del Castillo, 2020; McCallum, 2022)

It’s an unspoken thing but many young couples or younger parents would like something more practical and here’s why.

How Gift-Giving Became A Demonstration Of Wealth

Even some of us are guilty of this! When we receive a small gift or only one, we sort of pity the person or feel bad (Yan, 2020). Because gift-giving is a love language, money has become a quantitative measurement of our value to a person (Karwal, 2021). And back in the day, size was also a demo of that because of the old premise: the bigger, the better.

But, that doesn’t work nowadays with technology trying to be more ergonomic.

The best example here: we’d appreciate a new iPhone over a salad bowl despite the salad bowl being bigger. It’s more expensive too, even if the salad bowl is made of silver, crystal, bone china, or ceramic. Besides, some plastic salad bowls are so well-crafted that from a distance they can look like glass!

It’d be okay if only one person thought this way. Imagine if everyone does: that’s a whole lot of salad bowls! Which, let’s admit: they aren’t the most useful thing for a growing family.

The Cost of Growing a Family in The Philippines

Raising a family in the Philippines — especially when some of us are starting out — isn’t cheap. Babies need clothes, infant formula (if doing both formula and breastfeeding or pure due to circumstances), and diapers which eat up a lot of the budget. While we’ll often say it’s our “prerogative” to sacrifice the things we want to allocate more money for our kids, it does get frustrating at times.

Though nobody says anything but, some couples or young parents would prefer more practical gifts. Gift Certificates for car fuel, infant formula, and sometimes even diapers — they won’t say it outright but some young parents would be dancing a little victory dance on the inside. It sends two messages: 1) they’re not alone in their parenting journey, and 2) it allows them to allocate a little more money for their family’s future which may be the best gift of all.

Empathy in Gift Giving

As the world calls for us to be more mindful of our behaviors, we may as well include it in gift-giving. While there is a standard of making sure the gift looks brand new, the size and cost of the gift may do more harm than good by adding pressure on the receiver to reciprocate at least the same cost which may be beyond their budget! These gifts may be too little to notice at first but when done en masse, young parents will be a lot more grateful now they have a little more to invest in their kid’s future.

And besides, when has gift-giving about the giver when it’s a relationship of exchange?

References

Carbayas, A. N., & Del Castillo, F. (2020). Christmas in the Philippines: beyond popular religious tradition. Asia Pacific Journal of Multidisciplinary Research, 8(2), 35-40.

Karwal, R. (2021). The effect of personal and relationship dynamics as it relates to customs of gift exchanging and vice versa. Canadian Journal of Family and Youth/Le Journal Canadien de Famille et de la Jeunesse, 13(3), 76-86.

McCallum, D. G. (2022). Affectionate remittances: Materialism and care in Filipino transnational families in Japan. Current Sociology, 70(6), 843-859.

Yan, Y. (2020). Gifts. Cambridge Encyclopedia of Anthropology.