The Meaning of “Bahala Na”: Finding The Closure We Need
To heal sometimes means accepting a different kind of closure instead of the one we always dreamed of. In which, sometimes, the meaning of “bahala na” applies differently
As more parents bring generational trauma and emotional immaturity to light, we often wonder what happens after. We also have to ask ourselves, “What are we expecting?” Some of us may reach the closure we desire or the metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel; they hear the apologies, a tearful embrace, and a step in the right direction to make the family more functional.
However, some of us may never find that, trapped as we never hear the apologies and words we desperately craved and are unable to ask for. Thus, we sometimes apply a new meaning to the famous Filipino words, “Bahala na.”
Closure: The First Step to Healing
Healing is quite a multi-step journey, unlike the magical, spiritual, and philosophical chain of events we see on the silver screen. In fact, healing rarely follows that pattern. It’s quite messy as we go through a series of trials and errors, finding ways to either avoid or soothe the pain. But in a family-oriented country like the Philippines, we sometimes find our loved ones being the cause of that pain.
In the name of harmony and peace, we don’t confront. Rocking the boat is quite taboo in Filipino family culture as it is an unspoken rule for families to unite against a problem but never against itself. So, our injuries are then hidden. As we try to make sense of it, there are already extra layers from our cultural upbringing and biological directive: don’t hurt the family. Doing so invokes the wrath of the virtue of utang na loob.
Thus, if the one who hurts us is “family,” we already have a plan: bury it.
We try to even “defend” or “forgive” by shifting the blame upon ourselves. “They got angry because we did this,” “They’re right to yell! I should have known!” – eventually, these thoughts ring loud and long enough that we apply them to every other situation even if the family isn’t the one who got angry. But our minds recall differently; as we review the memory over and over, we realize we were not at fault. We also then decide that it’s time to heal.
So, how do we get the closure we want? Do we just say “bahala na” and throw in the towel?
Understanding the meaning of “Bahala Na”
For many years, we’ve understood the meaning and use of “Bahala na” as a daring statement — one that entrusts everything into God’s hands or, in precolonial days, Bathala (Gripaldo, 2005; Matienzo, 2015). However, some have interpreted the Filipino’s statement of “bahala na” as a way to imply helplessness and powerlessness (Hong, 2020). In some cases, it’s even described as “fatalist” and says its true meaning had been lost through time. (Gripaldo, 2005)
While some attribute Bahala na as a reflection of Philippine religiosity then, how about those of differing religions? Do they have the same attitude? That would be the flaw in seeing it as something purely religious. To see it as something spiritual, however, is to see it as a statement that emboldens an individual (Macaranas & Macaranas, 2017).
Thus, it’s also possible to see “bahala na” or particularly, “bahala na sila” as a possible statement of the start of healing. In pursuit of closure, we often try to create various opportunities that would set up the stage for that closure. But a lot of these opportunities don’t always pan out, leaving us with frustrating feelings of failure on top of our unprocessed pain.
“Bahala na:” A philosophy that opens the doors to finding closure
Saying the statement is one thing but to believe in it takes time. As humans, we always want to control things. From the food we eat, the drinks we chug, the clothes style, and even our emotions, that sense of control is soothing because it eliminates the fear of the unknown. Control grants us confidence and knowledge of what happens next.
But to willingly entrust that control to someone else — especially someone who has no corporeal form — is different. There’s a need to reflect on the idea of “letting go,” which we commonly associate with no longer having any emotional attachment to the concept. However, that kind of thing is difficult when those who hurt us are the ones we expect to love, care for, and protect us. Cutting them off emotionally isn’t as smooth as the media makes it look.
But “bahala na” doesn’t mean completely letting go. Saying those words can mean entrusting ourselves to a higher power as we seek healing. As parents, we find ourselves trying to manage everything when there are just some things that don’t need it.
Embraced and empowered by “bahala na”
Parents are no strangers to incidents that fly out of control or have no logical reason why they happen. Sometimes, it’s so mind-boggling that the frustrations just build and we finally snap. Before we shout the words “Bahala na!”, think for a moment why we do. Do we scream it out because we recognize our powerlessness or as a battle-cry for the many parenting ups and downs we face, especially when things are out of our control?
Reference
Hong, Y. (2020). Powerlessness and a social imaginary in the Philippines: A case study on Bahala Na. The Asbury Journal, 75(1), 9.
Gripaldo, R. M. (2005). Bahala na: A philosophical analysis. Filipino cultural traits: Claro R. Ceniza lectures, 4, 203-220.
Macaranas, B. P., & Macaranas, B. (2017). A philosophical review of Filipino values: Ambivalent values. In 24th World Congress of Philosophy Beijing, China.
Matienzo, R. (2015). Revisiting the philosophy of bahala na folk spirituality. FILOCRACIA: An Online Journal of Philosophy and Interdisciplinary Studies, 2(2), 86-105.
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