Bianca Roque Brandner: Embracing Our Unique Parenting Styles
Parent and life coach Bianca Roque Brandner reminds parents that there is no one-size-fits-all solution for parenting styles.
This story about Bianca Roque Brandner appeared in the Modern Parenting Mother’s Day and Father’s Day May 2024 issue.
In a world where parenting information is so easily accessible and social media showcases curated snippets of seemingly perfect family lives, it’s easy to occasionally feel inadequate and overwhelmed by the constant influx of opinions about what it means to be a good parent.
With the growing number of different parenting styles and approaches — from attachment parenting to conscious parenting, gentle parenting and everything in between — it’s important to remind ourselves that in parenting and in life, there will never be a one-size-fits-all solution.
Amidst the barrage of advice, finding our own path requires trust in our parental instincts and the courage to embrace what works best for our unique family dynamics. As a mom and as a personal mastery coach, I’ve noticed that we often know what’s right for us, yet somehow, we seem to have a difficult time trusting our own guidance.
While each method offers valuable insights and strategies, I’ve found that I have the choice to draw inspiration from these approaches while crafting my own unique process. By infusing these approaches with my personal values, I can tailor my parenting style to fit each of my children’s specific needs. This has allowed me to honor the wisdom of others’ experiences while shaping my own path as a parent in a way that feels the most authentic for me.
Cultivating self-awareness and authenticity
Becoming a mom 11 years ago and raising three wonderful kids has been an enriching journey. Still, I recognize that there’s still so much more for me to learn in my role as a mother. One lesson truly stands out: realizing how valuable it is to cultivate self-awareness and authenticity as parents.
While some are lucky enough to instinctively know the kind of parents they want to be early on, for many of us (myself included), this level of clarity doesn’t come naturally or overnight. Some of us take a lot of time, trial and error to gain a stable and healthy sense of who we are as individuals and as parents.
I’ve certainly found this to be true. In my line of work, where I get the chance to talk to different women, including mothers, I’ve come to recognize that this struggle is widely shared. Defining our unique parenting approach often involves a journey of self-discovery and unfolds gradually over time.
Setting personal standards
We’re all different, so it’s natural to come up with varying versions of what it means to be a good parent. It wasn’t until I paused and reflected that I began to view my family’s unique dynamics in a different light — the quirks, the challenges, the mess and most importantly, the beauty of our individuality. Each of my children is a universe unto themselves, with distinct personalities, needs, and dreams. As their mother, I realized that my role wasn’t to mold them into replicas of some idealized image, but to nurture and celebrate the essence of who they are.
Regularly assessing the standards is crucial, especially when they no longer serve our growth. As humans, we are constantly evolving, continually learning and expanding our perspectives. Therefore it’s only normal for our standards to mature along with us. The standards I once held in my twenties are so different from the ones I operate from now. They’ve become a lot more forgiving, more realistic and less idealistic.
So to my fellow parents, I offer this simple reminder: You are enough, exactly as you are. And as we navigate through the twists and turns of parenthood, let’s remember that each family is unique and what works for one may not always work for another. So here’s to honoring our journey, celebrating our growth and finding joy in the messy yet marvelous adventure of parenting.
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Bianca Roque Brandner is a Personal Mastery, Self-Awareness and Well-Being Coach. For inquiries, you may reach her on Instagram @bianca_brandner.
To read the full article, grab a copy of Modern Parenting Mother’s Day and Father’s Day May 2024 issue —available on sarisari.shopping. Download the e-Magazine from Readly or Press Reader for more exclusive features and stories.
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