Why We See Diamond Engagement Rings as Expressions of Love

Diamond engagement rings are a traditional symbol of love, that much is certain. But just how much love does a diamond represent?

Diamonds will always be pretty to look at, and as moms, we see them as a form of investment. Since this precious stone doesn’t easily lose its value, we usually invest in diamonds in two ways: either as loose stones (so we have more freedom with what we want to do with them) or as engagement rings, which eventually can become heirlooms to pass down to our sons or daughters.

But other stones such as rubies, sapphires, and emeralds are starting to catch up in value. Diamonds are not always the center of attention—just like Princess of Wales Catherine Middleton’s sapphire engagement ring, which Crown Prince William inherited from his mother, the late Princess Diana.

What’s more, other people have resorted to buying lab-grown diamonds due to ethical issues surrounding the mining of diamonds.

Given all this, the question remains: should a diamond be the proper measuring tool for how much a person loves you?

When did the whole trend start?

Diamond engagement rings started in 1477 when Archduke Maximillian of Austria proposed to Mary of Burgundy. However, the trend gained popularity and traction in the mid-1900s, especially in 1947 when De Beers—a British Diamond company—came out with the slogan “A Diamond is Forever.” Coupled with the diamond’s durability, we began to see it as a symbol of how durable love would be.

But times are changing as a post on a Facebook page called Hugot ni Juan sparked a viral debate as an anonymous female opened up about her feelings when receiving a PHP 299 engagement ring.

The internet weighs in!

Although there’s no denying the monetary value of a diamond, the netizens weighed in more about the feelings and how the couple went around it. While a lot of them validated the girl’s feelings, they also encouraged her to talk about it with her partner.

“Your emotion is valid and possibly he has good reasons behind it… Ask him calmly and in a mannered way… partner man kayo, so dapat open kayo sa isa’t isa… And for sure, kung he is mature enough, he will deal with it in a good way… communication is important gayud sa relasyon to make it work,” wrote one netizen.

Another netizen added, “If you feel loved, cared for, and valued when you are with him, I think there’s no reason for you to be upset. Maybe he’s up to something more special that he needs to save money…”

However, one called out the behavior, saying that this kind of issue was meant to be private.

“The feeling is valid however complaining about personal issues on social media is not the right thing. The more people validate her feelings, the more she feels that she is right without thinking about her partner. Her partner must feel disrespected. Sana nakipag usap nalang sya ng personal sa partner nya.”

Celebrity mom Yasmien Kurdi even weighed in, sharing that there are better things to invest in for the future together. “In my opinion, iinvest niyo nalang pera niyo sa lupa at bahay. Para di kayo mamulubi sa renta at di puro porma. Laking tipid ng hindi nagrerenta ng bahay. Ang material na bagay nadadala lang yan. Minsan nagmumukhang mahal kapag proud mo siya sootin. Minsan naman ang mahal ng soot ng isang tao, pero di naman mukhang mahal.”

Understanding the love language of gift-giving through a Filipino lens

Many Filipinos who grew up with traditional parents will admit that their family’s love language was more on gift-giving. Whenever there was a fight, they usually called them to eat or gave them a bowl of fruit without a verbal apology. We probably do that too—giving gifts—because it fills in the awkward gap when we can’t communicate our feelings.

While some developed the other four love languages, others focused on gift-giving as their main and only love language which can lead people to think that relationships are purely transactional. Although it gives us something concrete to work around if we want to gift a person something in return, using the monetary value as its only basis robs the sincerity behind the gift.

We raised our children to believe in love

Marriage, for many of us who still believe in the traditional sense, is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Coupled with the fiesta-loving portion of Filipino culture, we believe in going all-out with everything. But as mothers, we willingly spend money and pressure others to do the same because we want our daughters to still believe in the fairytales that we used to read to them before bed.

We raised them to believe that they deserve the best and everything in the world. To not settle for anything less but, there are just some things money cannot buy. Diamond engagement rings will always be beautiful, but they’re not the only way a person can express their commitment to marrying their loved ones.

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