Real Talk

Filipino Values: How It Deeply Runs And Rules Families

by Kevyn Gohu
August 4, 2023

Filipino values serve as the pillar of every family but how they embed it in the kids is what can either make or break a family.

Filipino values are neutral but they become either positive or negative, depending on how families show it to the next generation. The younger generations have called out their elders for imposing utang na loob via guilt-tripping, whereas elders have accused the younger ones of having no sense of gratitude. But the values of the Filipino family, from a systems perspective, are a lot deeper and more complex than many of us believe.

Filipino Values: How It Deeply Runs Families

Filipino Values: The Sikolohiyang Pilipino Perspective

From a Western perspective, Filipino values will conflict as their priorities differ. But from Virgilio Enriquez’s Sikolohiyang Pilipino perspective, these virtues have two categories: colonial/accommodative values and confrontative surface values. On the accommodative side, they showcase the values we are familiar with: Hiya (shame), Utang na Loob (gratitude), and Pakikisama (companionship). For confrontative values, we see the terms: bahala na (determination or come what may), lakas ng loob (guts), and pakikibaka (resistance).

Each of these values then translates into the pillars of the core value of what Virgilio Enriquez calls kapwa or “shared identity.” What makes these values even more complex is that all of these in a Filipino’s mind are connected. Like a domino effect, if one goes, so does everything else.

Understanding These Virtues and Values as a System

While many see values as a pillar of a culture or a religion, Filipino values act more like gears in a machine. When one value is taught, it’s usually as a prerequisite or it follows up to teach another value. Hiya or dignity is one of those values that can connect with Utang na Loob. When Filipino families teach respect for an individual, there is an unspoken expectation to receive that same respect in return. This then fuels the value of pakikisama or companionship which contributes to the family’s chances of surviving social events which many Filipinos hold in high regard.

But how do these break a family?

Because companionship and developing a shared identity is a priority in many Filipino families, it then reinforces a traditional practice: the padrino system. We know this system more through the saying, “It’s not about how skilled you are; it’s who you know. It’s how you play the game.” (Hindi dahil magaling ka kumbaga, dahil may kilala ka.)

This politically-charged approach, although not explicitly taught in families, subconsciously influences our behaviors and parenting strategies.

The silent discrimination against our children’s friends – We don’t say it openly to our kids but there are days we wished they had better or “classier” friends. Traditionally, these are the kids who come from well-off families because money allows them to afford higher quality education and supposedly, a better moral compass. Pushing our kids to become friends with more of these kids offers more opportunities to appear more dignified and enhance our current shared identity.
Finding some blood relation somewhere – While it’s common human behavior to find a link among things, some Filipinos take it to the next level by claiming a distant blood relation to have a share of that dignity. Many are more turned off by the behavior especially when aesthetically, they don’t match.
Omitting certain truths – Having a “shared identity” also works as a double-edged sword. In many cases of rape, most of them remain unreported especially because the perpetrator is a family member. The news is immediately hushed because there’s an immediate stigma when society finds out that a particular family houses a criminal.

While much of these Filipino values’ toxicity comes from certain repeated behaviors, the goodness of these values needs more emphasis.

But the values are also what allow Filipinos to survive!

The most obvious signs of how these values help are during times of calamity. When families lose their homes, livelihood, and other essentials, barangays, and organizations are quick to help them get back up on their feet. Donations flood in from all sorts of places especially when the individual is a beloved member of a community. The immediate initiative to assist comes from “sharing the pain” because Filipinos share their identities with one another. It’s a “you are me, and I am you” kind of thing.

Filipino values deserve a reinterpretation of the times.

Because many don’t reinterpret Filipino values to fit modern times, families often splinter into different factions to fight for power. We also see more of the difference in priorities. While the elder generation pushes to create a legacy of a strong and tightly-knit family, the younger generation fights to create a future where their family will live and grow. Although the same in motive, the clash of execution is what creates the toxicity that many of the younger generations speak of today. It’s time to go back to the roots of what makes a Filipino family and reinterpret it to fit today’s context.

References

Chico, M. L. M. (2012). PERCEPTION OF FILIPINO VALUES PORTRAYED IN PINOY BIG BROTHER. Online Journal of Communication and Media Technologies, 312-316.

De Guia, K. (2013). Indigenous values for sustainable nation building. Prajñā Vihāra: Journal of Philosophy and Religion, 14(1-2).

Enriquez, V. G. (2002). Filipino psychology in the Third World. Philippine Journal of Psychology, 35(1).

Gastardo-Conaco, M. C. (2005). The development of a Filipino indigenous psychology. Philippine Journal of Psychology, 38(2), 1-17.

Pe‐Pua, R., & Protacio‐Marcelino, E. A. (2000). Sikolohiyang pilipino (Filipino psychology): A legacy of Virgilio G. Enriquez. Asian journal of social psychology, 3(1), 49-71.