Karen Davila: On The Spectrum Of Unconditional Love

Journalist, broadcaster, TV anchor, advocate, and lifestyle personality Karen Davila talks about the lessons and infinite gifts that parenting a neurodivergent child brings

Karen Davila’s eldest son, David, is 23 years old. He was diagnosed as being in the autism spectrum when he was between two-and-a-half to three years old. Today, he is living his best life and thriving. The multi-awarded journalist and hands-on mom describes, “David is very independent. He is highly skilled and highly functional.”

In 2023, David was accepted and entered the University of the Philippines’ College of Fine Arts. According to his mother, he has always expressed himself best through painting. “David is a fantastic painter. He works with oil on canvas, painting images of Jesus Christ. He shares his art on his Instagram account.” 

Right now, David is enrolled at Vanguard and MINT College. “School is very important. You have to put your child in a progressive school where there’s a smaller number of students in the classroom. That way, there’s more attention given to your child. The school, community, and teachers all make a difference in the development of your child.”

In between academics, David follows his own schedule–watching movies with friends, eating out. He has also enriched the travel experience. Karen emphasizes, “He travels on the plane, visits other countries, and has memories of them.”

Signs or symptoms that David is neurodivergent are almost impossible to identify. 

Acceptance and Action

The road to empowering David as he goes through various stages of his life has been long and winding. “I got depressed. My husband and I cried for two weeks,” Karen admits. “I blamed myself as a woman, as a mother. What didn’t I catch? What did I do wrong? I blamed myself.” As soon as the diagnosis was made, she immediately dove into action. “Right away, I said: I’m gonna make my son better. I’m gonna do what it takes. I went so hardcore.” 

It was between 2004 and 2005 when they received the news. Back then, treatments and therapies for autism were limited. Most of the prescribed plans were focused only on occupational, behavioral, and speech therapies. Karen explored the more progressive, unorthodox paths that would allow her child to be the best version of himself. 

Through the recommendation of her best friend, Small Laude, Karen began to look into Biomedical Treatment. This holistic approach focuses on nutrition, metabolic function, immune function, and environment to support the physiology, learning, and development of neurodivergent persons. Karen elaborates: “Small owned the Greenhills Learning Center. With referrals from those in her school, specifically Teacher Rachel, I discovered the biomedical treatment and Casein gluten-free diet.” 

Admittedly, there was no proof to support this new, revolutionary approach. For Karen, however, it was worth giving it a try. “ It wasn’t tested, but it didn’t matter because autism has no cure. So what you need to do as a mother is you need to be able to bring your child to the best that they can be. You have to be able to help them learn, live independently. So those are the things I did.” 

It Takes A Village

Throughout this journey, Karen and her family have leaned heavily on their community for support. “You need to find a tribe of people that will love your child, that will talk to your child, that will be friends with your child. The community in school is one thing, but you also need to build one at home with immediate family and friends,” she advises. “Why am I saying that? Maraming mga magulang, tinatago nila yung anak nila na may autism. Naintindihan ko yan kung nagwawala ang bata, paano mo ilalabas? Which is why I strongly advocate for a clean diet. The Casein gluten-free diet, an avoidance of white sugar if you can, an avoidance of junk. It’s really clean and healthy eating.”

Karen’s purpose as a mother to a neurodivergent child has brought her closer to God. It has also taught her humility. “Having a child on the autism spectrum humbles you because it’s something beyond your control. Hindi mo maintindihan kung bakit. Naging humble ako na tao kasi kailangan ko ang tulong ng marami. To help David. That’s one.”

She has also come to appreciate her spouse even more for his strong and steady presence in their lives. “You and your husband have to be in it together. You both have to want the same things for your child with autism.”

As a working mother known in her industry for her uncompromising dedication to her craft, Karen has also relied on the support of a reliable support system at home and among friends. “Get all the help you can–from your mother, grandparents, aunts, cousins. Anyone. You can’t do it alone. My mother would take care of David when he was younger.” Karen has also found strength in her trusted circle of friends who adore her son as much as she does. “Build a community of friends who accept and love your child. You are out socially, and your child needs to feel that he or she is surrounded by people who care for him.” 

Karen also devotes her efforts to training their caregiver or nanny. “You have to train your nanny and equip them so they can care for your child—not in a way that he is babied. Instead, build him up for independence. Yaya Myrna, who was with us for 15 years.” The family has also regarded their team of medical experts as part of the tribe. “Connect with your therapists and discuss shared goals. Keep in mind that you are doing this together.” 

On the school front, Karen asserts the importance of finding a school that will nurture the growth and development of a neurodivergent child. She elaborates. “Find the school that will provide the learning growth needed for your child. When David began at The Integrated Center for the Young in Quezon City, there were so many things he couldn’t do–jump, blow from a straw. They helped him there and supported him in his development. Don’t look for schools based on stature. When you have a child in the autism spectrum, the rules change. You look for what’s best for your child.” 

“You have to secure the structure at home, your little tribe, your community. You need all the support you can get to raise a child with autism.” 

His Brother’s Keeper

Consumed by unwarranted fear and doubt, it took some time before the hands-on, take-action mother could think of having another child. “I was so scared to have another child,” Karen confesses. Her youngest, Lucas, is 17. And he is wiser beyond his years. “Lucas matured early because he knew that his brother was not like others. With the six-year gap, ideally, your older brother would be giving you advice.” 

With much pride and appreciation, Karen shares how Lucas has played an important role in building a safe and nurturing environment for his older brother, David. “In some ways, he acts like the older brother, giving him advice on how to act in social situations, what to do, what not to do.”

Growing up, a partnership of care had been established between both boys. This loving synergy between both siblings has been especially helpful when traveling or in social situations. “Lucas has been taught to essentially accompany his brother. There’s that partnership of care that’s been established.”

Having his younger brother around has also helped David navigate anxiety. 

Unwavering Faith 

At the heart of this little tribe lies faith. In her journey as a mother, Karen describes herself as “completely reliant on the grant of our Lord Jesus Christ. That’s really my story.” She remembers an incident when David had a mal seizure that could have easily taken his life. “I was ready. I thought David was gonna die. I kept saying, ‘Jesus, save him. Save him! But, Lord, if you’re gonna take him, I praise you.’ Ganoon ka lala. And after that, I went back to reality. The Lord told me, ‘I have a purpose for your son, Karen. Wag mo isipin okay na siya.’ So, look at David today. He has his own activities, his own schedules. You know, he is shining and living a happy life.” 

Cry, Be Informed, Take Action

It’s okay to cry and grieve however long it takes, says Karen. What’s important as parents are the steps you take after the heartbreak. For Karen, these are acceptance, awareness, and action. “Don’t be in denial,” she advises. “Act right away. Get the help you need.” 

She notes that in the Philippines, the awareness, acceptance, and expertise on autism leaves much to be desired. Since the diagnosis, Karen has depended on her immediate circle–her tribe– for support, information, and advice. Independently, she has had to do the research and use her own resources to help her son reach his fullest potential.  

She opines, “I get shocked sometimes that I’m more knowledgeable than some teachers when it comes to dealing with children with autism. That’s sad. It’s very tragic because, at the end of the day, knowledge is power. When you are educated about kids in the spectrum–what is best for them–then you are able to teach them. You are able to help them. And so many schools in the Philippines are just not equipped. They just don’t focus on studying it. They don’t focus on that form of inclusion because maybe it takes more money. I don’t know. It’s a lack of growth, a lack of awareness.” 

A Story Of Unconditional Love

It has been 23 years since Karen’s journey as a mother began. While most of her efforts have been directed towards David’s growth and development as a neurodivergent individual, she believes that it is she who has learned and gained the most. “David has taught me unconditional love. He has taught me kindness, being the epitome of kindness and purity. In his presence, I see the grace of God.” 

As one of the pillars in Philippine journalism and broadcasting, Karen now sees past the accolades and achievements. Her motherhood journey with both David and Lucas has shown her what it means to love without condition. “All that matters is love. Unconditional love. No parent is perfect. I am far from perfect. There have been times I wished I were with David instead of working. But it is what it is, you know. You have to do your best to help them reach their potential with the hand that’s dealt to you. And always ask for God’s grace because He will find a way.” 

Words BIANCA SALONGA
Photography JHARWIN CASTANEDA
Makeup NIZEL REDUTA
Hairstyling NICOLE ELIZALDE
Stylist THE CLOSET CULTURE
Shoot Coordination ANTHONY MENDOZA
Sittings Editor MARGA MEDRANO-TUPAZ

Shot on location at DEXTERTON BGC

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