Kids

#MomTok Gone Viral: TikTok Moms Define “Hurtful Helping”

by Kevyn Gohu
September 8, 2022

What may look like helping to others may be hurtful to overwhelmed moms.

Every parent needs help. But the kind of help some offer isn’t exactly what we need. Sometimes, it causes more problems than actually solving them. A MomTok (TikTok made by a Mom) by Rebecca Craig became viral as she explains how although her husband tried to help by giving her the baby, it wasn’t the kind of help she needed or wanted. “I wasn’t even finished with my one bowl of curry,” she says during the video. “That [giving her the crying baby without calming him down] was an example of hurtful helping.”

Here’s the video below:

@rebeccacraig47 #momtok #overwhelmed #hurtfulhelping ♬ original sound – Rebecca Craig

Many Don’t Know How Much Those 5-10 Minutes Mean to Moms

The MomTok immediately became viral. Currently, it’s at 407.4K likes and 4,297 shares. Stories flooded Rebecca Craig’s comment section, sharing their own struggles and their support for the overwhelmed mom.

Others revealed that “hurtful helping” doesn’t just come from the partner. Sometimes, it can be their own mothers or mothers-in-law, too!

Moreover, several mothers supported her by saying that it’s not the crying that will hurt the baby. But an overwhelmed mom might!

It’s not that moms are ungrateful for the attempt to help. There are just some things we wish we didn’t have to say in order to get help. We would never abandon our duty as a mom. But we want a short break every now and then.

Crying Doesn’t Hurt A Baby As Much As an Overwhelmed Mom Does

Science has always pushed moms to respond to their babies’ cries as quickly, as efficiently, and as perfectly as they can. Studies featuring results of how a wrong response to a baby’s cry is continuously flooding the internet, putting unnecessary stress on moms. Helping isn’t supposed to be hurtful otherwise, it’s just nothing. While it does take a little extra “reading the room” and a few minutes of discomfort of soothing a wailing, pooping, hangry (hungry and angry) hurricane, that 5 minutes can go a long way for any overwhelmed mom.