No Mother Would Willingly Hurt Her Own Children

A report of a burning home in Bulacan reveals a tragic story of a family that fell apart

Most parents strive to nurture and protect their children, yet within the complexities of family dynamics and societal pressures, harm can still occur — often without intention or awareness. A case was discovered in Bulacan wherein a burning house was reported, with a mother and her three children, ages six, three, and one, were inside. While many assumed that the family had been trapped inside, the story was more disturbing. According to one of the children who passed away and some of the initial reports, the mother was the one who started the fire.

“Nakapagsabi po siya doon sa mga naghatid po sa kaniya… ikinuwento, ‘yung mother daw po nila ay binuhusan daw po sila ng thinner tas sinilaban,” said PLTCOL. Voltaire Rivera, Chief of Sta. Maria Police Station in an interview with 8List.

Unfortunately, the mother of three and her children passed away. According to the Fire Investigation Team handling the case, they discovered two bottles of paint thinner and a box of matches.

A Heartbreaking Act

It’s easy to condemn the atrocious act, but behind every crime, there’s always a motive. Unless the person had been long reported to be anti-social or a psychopath, a person usually commits a crime out of desperation, impulse, or emotional distress.

That appears to be the case with this mom. Barangay Captain Potenciano Lorenzo revealed that she had gone to the office to report the marital issues she had with her husband. She sought intervention, and the barangay office reported that they were planning to mediate between the two.

“Bago ‘yon, nag-blotter ang babae noong gabi at may patawag at paghaharapin po sana namin pero hindi na nangyari dahil kinabukasan, ito na ‘yong bumungad sa amin na nagkaroon na ng sunog… Personal problem nila,” Brgy. Captain Lorenzo shares in an interview with ABS-CBN.

Overwhelmed with helplessness and desperation

Marital issues can take their toll, driving wedges, making existing pains worse, and most of all, drowning both individuals in pools of hopelessness in which they feel they can’t get out.

Separation may be an answer for some but not for all. The Philippine culture still looks down on separation. Thus, many Filipinos still believe that staying together is a must, even if the relationship is already dysfunctional. In cases of extreme marital stress, separating parents, especially when emotions are high, would weaponize anything so long as to hurt the other. Unfortunately, the usual victim in this scenario is the kids.

And in many cases, it’s enough to force someone into becoming a Family Annihilator — a person or parent willing to destroy their whole family because the former believes it’s what is “best” for them (Scott & Flemming, 2014; Szalewski, 2020). Some may say that those who become Family Annihilators even adopt a sense of misguided altruism.

In other cases, their distress, depression, and anxiety make these parents see only a horrible future of their children being left behind. Unable to cope with the guilt of leaving them behind, they adopt a “I’ll take them with me” mindset (Bowers, Holmes, and Rhom, 2010; Armeanu, 2020).

However, only God knows what was going through this mom’s mind.

Don’t let issues grow!

Sometimes, it’s hard to address marital issues when the whole house relies on whatever we say. Where we go, what we do, where the money goes — all those can easily whittle down a person and bury whatever heartbreaks we want closure for. Unfortunately, like any wound, heartbreaks do fester and they eventually become so pervasive that they alter how we see reality. We see that no amount of healing can put us back together, especially if we’re already suffering bouts of depression and the like.

So, for those who can sense that their partners are crumbling on the inside, listen to that gut feeling. Because most of the time, those suffering depression will never admit to it.

When things get hard and hopeless, know that you’re not alone. The Philippines does have a National Center for Mental Health. They have a hotline, you can contact the number 0919-057-1553.

References

Armeanu, A. (2020, October). Familicide: Psychological and Social Characteristics of the Aggressors. A Case Study. In Proceedings of the 19th International RAIS Conference on Social Sciences and Humanities (pp. 200-206). Scientia Moralitas Research Institute.

Bowers, T. G., Holmes, E. S., & Rhom, A. (2010). The nature of mass murder and autogenic massacre. Journal of Police and Criminal Psychology, 25, 59-66.

Scott, H., & Fleming, K. (2014). The female family annihilator: An exploratory study. Homicide studies, 18(1), 59-82.

Szalewski, A. (2020). Family mass homicide: An investigation.

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