Real Talk

The Heartbreaking Truth About Parents Who “Walked Away”

by Kevyn Gohu
May 9, 2025

While many condemn “walking away from one’s family,” Cole Sprouse offers a different perspective: it’s about survival

Survival has two responses: fight or flight. But that’s supposed to only happen in stressful and toxic situations, not in a place we’re supposed to call home. Unfortunately, that’s a reality — some families are not emotionally safe people to grow up with. Oftentimes, these kinds of families make emotional outlets out of the kids because they quickly learn how much control they have over them. The kids, not knowing better, are then caught in the middle. They’re then forced to choose: fight or flight. However, they eventually learn that walking away is the only thing they can do. Although those who do this are considered selfish, Cole Sprouse, who admitted to walking away from his mom, reassures that they’re not.

Cole Sprouse Opens Up On A Podcast About Walking Away — Source: The Diary of a CEO Podcast

“I had to learn that loving myself sometimes meant walking away,” Cole admits during his appearance on The Diary of a CEO podcast. “Even if it’s your own mother.”

“Family Doesn’t Mean You Have To Stay”

Many of us were raised to see things to the end. While it makes sense for most things, another point to consider is: why push a bad position?

However, in Filipino culture, walking away is an act of weakness and is highly frowned upon. We’re taught to “tough it out” (“tiisin mo nalang“), especially when dealing with our family. “Nanay mo pa rin iyan” or “Ikaw yung anak niya” – it’s what we usually hear or are probably guilty of saying to those who confide in us their intention to leave. However, we forget – we can say these things because we haven’t lived with the people they want to walk away from 24/7.

They most likely would have thought about staying. After all, it would have been fine if the person hurting them truly didn’t have the power and resources to fix the situation, and they were trying. However, if they choose not to despite having the power and resources and have badly affected people’s daily lives, then there’s no need to stay. As Cole says, “Just because they’re family, doesn’t mean you have to stay.”

In the case of Cole Sprouse, he and his brother, Dylan, were thrust into acting by their mother, Melanie Wright, when they were 10 years old to make money. Due to reckless financial handling (the money she spent was the earnings from the boys’ careers as actors), Melanie lost custody of the two boys to their father, Matthew Sprouse.

To “walk away” isn’t always physical

In the Philippines, walking away isn’t physical but emotional. We distance ourselves from toxic family members by keeping answers short, rarely striking up small talk, and warding them away with uncomfortable laughter. For those who are aware enough, they usually get the signal and stay away. However, some relatives may still try, which is why some of us would choose a corner of a room, scroll through our phones, and pretend to be busy.

But it’s tiring to maintain that facade. At one point, we’ll want to blow our tops. And when we do, it gets messy. We’ll try to wrestle back our control of the situation, regretting our rage. Eventually, our regret dwindles into apathy: what’s the point? Thus, we choose to walk away.

We don’t always throw all our clothes in a suitcase and dash out the door, never to return. It starts small. Conversations get shorter. Answers become simpler and more direct. Engagements are rehearsed before eventually becoming non-existent. There’s no contact.

No Contact Doesn’t Always Mean There’s No Care

Although Cole’s talk on The Diary of a CEO’s podcast is over two years old, it still rings true for many parents who chose to walk away from their own parents. People don’t just walk away on a whim; when they feel threatened, unsafe, and drowning, they will do so to survive. Nobody wants to spend their life being someone’s emotional punching bag or doll.

Unfortunately, in a family-oriented culture, being one is part of the whole “unconditional love” aspect. To stay and fight is the biggest expression of love. But Cole offers comfort with sage advice: “You can care for someone and still know they’re not healthy for you.”

It can be shown by not spreading gossip around them or not contributing to the mess they most likely made for themselves. There’s also keeping up-to-date with the relatives who still hope for reformation, ensuring they’re okay with a simple wellness check. Everyone has a way of expressing their care. And if we don’t want to, then that’s okay too.

Although walking away means not having the typical support system and maybe envying others for having one in their families, it doesn’t mean that it’ll be a lonely journey forever. To the parents who have walked away from their own toxic families, we see you. And we believe that there’s a support system out there waiting for you, ready to celebrate who you are.