Moms and Dads
Motherhood is Solenn Heussaff-Bolzico’s Silver Lining
Staying at home has given Solenn a much-deserved break from work, allowing her and Nico to build stronger bonds at home with their beautiful daughter
“I think no one is ever ready to be a mom,” Solenn Heussaff-Bolzico starts. “I always kept pushing back the year of when I wanted to have the baby because obviously, I didn’t want to be a mom. I was like, ‘Okay, I need to still shoot this movie. Or I need to still achieve this goal.’ You’re basically never ready.”
Looking back, however, the mother of one wonders if she should have had her child earlier. Perhaps, back in her late twenties. But still, she has no regrets. She and husband Nico Bolzico enjoyed the first few years of their marriage with just the two of them, and the process has set them up for the indescribable joy of adding new life to their family. She shares, “It’s one of the greatest things ever. I wish for every woman to be able to feel the love that you could feel,” she exclaims.
How motherhood changed Solenn
“I didn’t know my heart could expand this much—not that I’m a cold person.” Solenn shares candidly. While she is admittedly an affectionate wife to Nico, as you can watch in the adorable couple’s YouTube-dominating videos, she isn’t as expressive to family and friends, much as she loves them all. But motherhood has made Solenn her daughter’s number one fan. And as she puts it, “I think she’s sick and tired of me telling her ‘I love you’ and hugging and kissing her how many times a day,” she says laughing.
She’s grateful for all the extra time
Having a thriving career in the entertainment industry, juggling several brands and businesses, and adding her passion for the arts to the equation, the pandemic has allowed her to slow down. And with the birth of her New Year’s day baby last year, it was a silver lining in such a way that she and Nico able to fully dedicate all their time to raising Thylane, even without a yaya—an incredible feat that Solenn admits she wouldn’t have been able to do if all other things were still on a pre-pandemic schedule.
Why self-care is important
“I think motherhood has changed a lot of my goals. I still have goals, but I am pickier. Like I don’t try to do everything anymore. And I’m more patient with myself. And I’m more patient with the timelines also that I have given myself.”
“My focus is really her, but I’m not forgetting about me either. I didn’t let go of everything. I’m still trying to do everything in one go, but at a slower pace,” Solenn elaborates, cognizant of the many roles mothers bear in their everyday life.
In the middle of keeping a household while pursuing their passions, moms tend to forget their selves, Solenn has discovered firsthand. But giving yourself a break every now and then is necessary and parents should be able to embrace this privilege for the benefit of your and your family’s well-being. “It is very important. Sometimes I just give her to Nico, and I’m like, ‘I just need my 5 hours or 10 hours or my day.’ I just need to be alone. And you shouldn’t feel guilty for that because it just makes you a better person afterward.”
Taking care of yourself means being open to the support of your family as well. So when Solenn is immersed in painting her pieces, Thylane is well taken care of by Nico or other family members. “The good thing is, I finished all the pieces (for her Kundiman exhibit) last March 5. So I haven’t painted since and I’ve been able to focus more on her. But it’s more about delegating,” she says, letting us in on how she’s able to do it all. “Either she’s with my mom or with my husband. And I do have two helpers at home, who are more like household help. They can watch over her sometimes for like an hour or two if I really need the time. Obviously, Nico’s also busy. He goes to the office—nine to five, but he’s just upstairs. We’re flexible, but we try to work it out together. And if we can’t, then we have Thylane stay with one of our helpers here for a bit, but I have to check a lot.”
Her Partner in Crime and Thylane’s Bedtime
Before the pandemic, Nico’s extremely busy workday finds himself working from 7am to 7pm. But when the pandemic struck, and with the two of them home the entire day, the idea of becoming more hands-on with Thylane became much more possible. Solenn details their day’s events to explain how the two of them operate, “We came up with a schedule. Since I take care of her and tend to her at night, he would get her from 7am till 10am. So I get to either sleep in or exercise, or just watch TV if I wanted to without the baby crying. And then I would take over. And then by 4pm, we have family time. So we go biking or walking. So that has been the schedule since March 2020.”
When it comes to sleep training, Nico does a great job of helping. “He puts her to bed at night. If I’m with her and I put her in the crib and I sit down when she falls asleep, she will go berserk,” she shares. “I cannot complain about how hands-on he is. He’s the best dad to her.”
While Nico is just like any doting dad who is ever protective of their daughters, he is also a believer in rearing them to be naturally strong, allowing her daughter’s immune system to develop well through experience. Solenn is just as balanced. She takes good care not to overreact when her toddler falls but she also gives her the occasional spoon of ice cream.
Solenn lets us in on a baby tip: “I bought these onion stickers and they worked very well surprisingly. I thought they were one of those products that would be like, it’s all about marketing and it doesn’t work. I actually swear by it. I’ve been using a lot of those.”
Her Notes on Motherhood
Nowadays, Solenn Heussaff-Bolzico busies herself by engaging in a lot of activities at home with Thylane, be it baking, painting, or making homemade sand. And while Thylane has been a great bundle of joy for her family, Solenn is optimistic too for baby number two.
“Yes. I do want two and I’m done. I’ve always just wanted a boy and a girl. If I have another girl, then I’m also very happy. But I’ve always just wanted two because I feel like at least I get to focus on the two of them. And I also feel like if we travel in the future, there’s one parent for a child. So it’s easier to run,” she says with a chuckle.
If there’s anything she’s learned in the chaos of doing so many things, it is not to put so much pressure on yourself. And so, she leaves nuggets of wisdom for moms everywhere who, like her, continue to pursue their passions while being a dedicated mom at the same time.
“Write down your goals so you don’t forget them. Be reminded that you don’t need a hundred goals on your to-do list to have achieved anything. A lot of people are like, ‘Okay, my to-do list is say, 15 things today.’ The chances for you to complete those 15 things are very little. So might as well just have one goal on your list and do it on a day-to-day basis.
‘Focus on one or two goals per day and be patient. Don’t pressure yourself. And at the end of the day, also remember to always make time for yourself. Find a routine that works for you and your family. Find a way on how you can actually take time for yourself and leave your child with your family for a moment. Don’t feel guilty,” Solenn reassures.
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