Online Gaming Culture Series: A Parent-Friendly Guide To “Trash-talking”

With kids so much into online gaming, here’s a parent-friendly guide to trash-talking from a gamer’s perspective

Everything has some competitive aspect to it. Online gaming is no different; whether it’s about how much materials they hoard, or how many the ratio of “kills, deaths, and assists” (KDA) they’ve gotten in a match, so long as it’s multiplayer, the competitive spirit is there. We usually see it in the form of “trash-talking.”

Besides, we’ve seen this in sports like basketball. The booing, cheering, and collective groans of disappointment—online gaming has that too. Except when it’s online, we can actually read what they’re saying.

Trash-talking Sounds Like Another Buzzword

No, trash-talking is not another buzzword. It’s been here for years. For many gamers, this is normal for gaming culture.

Whether it’s at a street-side internet café or within the comforts of the home with high-tech laptops and desktops, trash-talking will rarely show in IRL—short for “in real life.” Maybe they’ll shout at each other if they find out the player on the other side is their age. But most gamers would rather not risk their physical health—they don’t know how much bigger the opposing player is in real life.

Common Forms of Trash-talking among Filipino gamers

Maybe we’ve heard our kids scream profanities or expressions of shock. Words like “Gago” or “Bobo” are unfortunately the most commonly typed out ones. In fact, most Filipino gamers even string the two together when expressing frustration. It usually goes, “Ang bobo mo, gago.” (Cabiles, Samilo, and Magallanes, 2025)

Nowadays, Filipinos have learned to trash-talk in English. It’s F-bombs everywhere, moms and dads. Usually, gamers go with the typical “f*** u.”

Does Trash-Talking Happen in International Online Games?

Oh yes, especially if players can pay or what gamers say, “throw money at it.” The concept is called “pay to win”—in other words, players can buy in-game items like power-ups, stronger weapons, and magic, and exclusive features to overwhelm their opponents. That’s why some international players will use the term “pay to win” as an insult: it means the player isn’t skilled enough to win without throwing money at the online game.

However, not many gamers like that practice. It’s why gamers will always advise parents to remove their credit cards from their online store accounts. Once their kids figure out they can buy power-ups, it’s hard to get them to stop. They pay for convenience and easier winning in the game.

Why do People Online Even Resort to Trash Talk?

Every netizen has their reasons for using trash talk. Sometimes, they need an outlet and couldn’t care less who’s online at the moment.

For online gamers, trash-talking is both a norm and an acceptable “battle tactic.” It’s often used to demoralize or rattle the opponent in order to gain the upper hand. (Deloy, Nino, and San Isidro, 2022).

Trash-talking vs Cyberbullying: Is There a Difference?

For many gamers, yes. It’s different because of the context. Trash-talking is only socially acceptable in matches that have a competitive aspect. There’s an assumption that, once a player joins that aspect, they’re ready to face the toxicity that comes with it. That includes sore losers and the worst kind: hackers—those who change or modify the game’s base code to win.

Anything beyond that is considered cyberbullying, especially if they contact them beyond the platform and their personal profile. There’s already intent: they took all that effort to find personal information behind the avatar just to bash. In the Philippines, that is punishable by law.

But, of course, these are words that we don’t want our kids to be exposed to. Especially when nobody online explains to them what it means, they’ll just know the feeling associated with it. It’s probably why kids who play online multiplayer games learn how to “insult” more than how to eloquently speak and write (Pujante Jr. 2021; Baudin, 2024).

Solo games are not without their toxicity, however. But it usually comes from the fan groups they have on social media. Facebook groups, X (formerly Twitter) threads, Reddit forums—these all can be avoided.

Best thing to do: just follow the game’s official page for peace of mind and to stay updated on the game’s developments. And, don’t read the comment section unless you’re ready to read the drama.

Do Filipinos trash-talk a lot?

Considering that over 80% of the Philippine population is composed of online gamers (both mobile and desktop), it’s no surprise a few unsavories will make their way in.

In the online gaming community, Filipino gamers (and even some Filipinos themselves will admit) will consider themselves “one of the most toxic communities” to be in. It’s why some, if they have the chance or money, play on an international server. It’s quieter; most international players just mind their own business. (Lim, Vungthong, and Trakulkasemsuk, 2024)

Have online games done anything to prevent this?

Actually, they have. They call these measures profanity filters. When someone types slurs in the chat, the server, if it recognizes the term, will immediately censor it with asterisks.

But people will always find a way to bypass or skate around it—just so they can get their insult across. They use their native language. “Bobo” has turned into “vovo,” “B0B0,” and so many other variants. A lot of times, developers can’t keep up with the constantly updating language module.

Usual Online Games Where Trash-Talk Happens

So, any game really with a competitive aspect will have incidents of trash talk.

However, in the Philippines, it depends on how accessible the game is, in which indirectly affects the kind of people in it. So, some of the games that do have trash talk as a normal thing include:

• Mobile Legends
• Honor of Kings
• League of Legends
• Fortnite
• DOTA
• Valorant

That’s only the top of the head. Other games don’t really market competitive play as part of their package, but still have it. The games mentioned here are often considered competitive, recreationally and professionally.

So, is Online Gaming Bad for Kids?

Online gaming isn’t all bad; it’s just the community that’s in it sometimes.

There are some helpful players, and a lot of times, that’s where friendships start. These older players (or veterans, as they’re called) teach newer players the mechanics and the like. It takes a lot of patience, too.

The unfortunate thing about trash-talking in online gaming is that age is rarely considered. As a player, they’re only judged on one thing: skill. Unfortunately, most gamers don’t have the skill to graciously lose. However, those who have played the game long enough have developed enough self-awareness to “step away” or “retire” from the competitive aspect and prefer being mentors.

What Parents Can Do When Their Kids Start Trash-talking

Chances are, if your kids are into YouTube or online gaming, they probably have witnessed some trash talk.

But it doesn’t mean parents can’t do anything about it. Here’s what parents can do if the kids start trash-talking.

• Respond with sharp wit. Gentle parenting may be a thing, but as a gamer, some lessons are best learned the hard way. Trash-talking is not acceptable in real life, so if they start mouthing off at us, it is our moral obligation to show how clever wit wins. Let them realize that if they’re going to trash-talk, they better know how to back it up.
• Don’t engage. Tempers will rise, but nothing annoys a trash talker more than a single-word response and a shrug. Trash talk has one purpose: to rattle. If you’re not rattled, then it failed.
• Do not accept the “but everyone does it!” excuse. They probably will use this excuse. We can respond with, “Yeah, everyone in-game because moderators have a hard time catching them. Doesn’t mean I won’t try.” It lets them know there is a moderator in the house.
• Tell them, “Learn to get good then.” Some gamers actually find it a waste of time to engage in trash talk. For them, it’s, “Why waste time mouthing off when you can prove your skill?” Some online games have been lost because some trash-talked or took the bait.

A fun tip from a gamer to help discipline gamer kids: most gamers understand the concept of “FAFO“—short for “f*** around and find out.” Once they hear that, they will back down.

References

Baudin, J. S. P. (2024). Screen Time on Multiplayer Online Battle Arena (MOBA) as Mediator Between Trash-Talking and Aggressive Behavior of Esports Players. Journal of Educational, Health & Community Psychology (JEHCP), 13(4).

Cabiles, N. V. A., Samilo, P. J. E., & Magallanes, M. S. J. S. (2025). Qualitative exploration on the prevalence of swear words in MLBB among Filipino online players. Environment and Social Psychology, 10(2), 3113.

Deloy, E. D., Nino, S., & San Isidro, D. D. N. P. (2022). The Culture of Trash Talks Among Dota Players: An Ethnography. International Journal of Research Publications, 109.

Lim, E. H., Vungthong, S., & Trakulkasemsuk, W. (2024). Trash-Talking versus Toxicity: An Analysis of/All Chat Exchanges between Southeast Asian Players of an Online Competitive Game. LEARN Journal: Language Education and Acquisition Research Network, 17(1), 816-856.

Pujante Jr, N. T. (2021). Speech for fun, fury, and freedom: Exploring trash talk in gaming stations. Asian Journal of Language, Literature and Culture Studies, 4(1), 1-11.

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