Spotlight

Vern Enciso-Lim: Becoming Her Truest Self

by Nana Nadal
May 15, 2025

Through the challenges of IVF and the quiet strength of self-discovery, Vern Enciso-Lim reflects on the journey that reshaped the woman—and mother—she is becoming

More than a decade ago, Vern Enciso-Lim was inspired to start blogging by Carrie Bradshaw, the fashionable newspaper columnist from the hit TV series “Sex and the City,” played by Sarah Jessica Parker. Since then, she has grown her presence across various platforms, with her content evolving alongside her. Aside from sharing fashion finds and beauty hacks, she gave followers a peek into her life, letting them witness adventures and milestones such as her 2021 wedding to her longtime boyfriend, Ben Lim. These days, her posts are all about their son.

Eight-month-old Nathan has his mama wrapped around his finger. “The best part is how he looks at me,” Vern beams, describing his smile and twinkling eyes whenever he sees her. Having Nathan didn’t come easy, so she is relishing every second.

Where Everything Began

It took a year of unsuccessful attempts at conceiving naturally before Vern discovered that she had myoma, Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), chocolate cysts, and polyps. She had won the infertility lottery, according to her obstetrician-gynecologist, who tried to make light of the unfavorable findings. Of course, it was no laughing matter since she and her husband really wanted to grow their family. “I went through two surgeries and in vitro fertilization (IVF) to finally have the baby that I have now,” she states. “Two painful, long years because of all the things that I had to go through.”

Her IVF journey started with an appointment to get tested for Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (APAS). “It is when we make antibodies that attack the sperm, or it attacks the fetus because your body thinks that it’s a foreign body inside that it has to kill,” she explains. Based in Cebu, they had to fly to Manila since her immunologist, Dr. CJ Gloria, is with St. Luke’s Bonifacio Global City.

The rest of the process involved several more plane rides, as they chose to undergo IVF abroad. The egg retrieval, fertilization, and embryo transfer were all done at iBaby Fertility and Genetic Center in Bangkok, Thailand.

From 22 eggs collected, ten embryos were harvested. And after the pre-implantation genetic screening, only four proved to be viable. It was their fertility doctor who decided to implant one embryo first.

“It’s so technical nowadays. It’s so weird that we actually live in a time where you can do all of that to have a baby. But even if it’s so scientific, I really think no matter what religion you belong to, it really is a higher being or God who will really control if it’s your time to have a baby or not. Kasi you can have the best doctor, you can be the healthiest person, you can pay the most amount of money. But if it’s really not meant for you, it won’t happen. That’s what I learned the hard way,” she reveals.

Finding Strength in Silent Moments

Vern considers the embryo transfer as most memorable for her. “That was the time when I felt like I started to become more religious and spiritual during the journey,” she recalls. With her family far away in the Philippines and her husband not allowed to join her for the procedure, she was alone and scared. “In the waiting room, I was just praying the rosary, I just kept praying, repeating it and repeating it.”

Inside the operating room, she continued to call on God as everyone kept their eyes on the monitor to observe the placement of the embryo. “I just kept praying, I just kept saying ‘Our Father.’ And then, there was a nurse who held my hand and she just prayed with me. Then I started tearing up because I felt like “Someone” was finally there, I wasn’t alone. It was really such a moment for me. When the doctor saw that I was praying with the nurse, the whole operating room prayed with me,” she relives the experience, her eyes welling up.

“So when I got the positive news seven days later, I felt like it was because God was with me in the operating room.” Despite getting warned that most likely they won’t get pregnant on the first try, they defied the odds. “No matter how hopeless your case might seem, you can still get it right on the first try, which we did.” But it was an emotional roller coaster getting there.

After every surgery, her doctors would tell her that the chances of getting pregnant naturally were higher, so they should try for a couple of months. She heard the same script after freezing her eggs but nothing happened. “Every month, I would get my period. It was such a big heartbreak for me because I feel like I’m given so much hope every month. And every time I see my period, I feel like it’s my fault because technically, women feel that way, because it’s our fault why we can’t sustain a baby or why we can’t make a baby. So I feel like every time I would get my period back then, it was really discouraging for me.”

Ben played a big role in keeping her spirits up. “What gave me hope was really my husband because he kept reminding me that even if we were not given a baby, we’re both enough. And a baby is just an added person to not really complete our family but just to join the family that he and I have made with our dogs.”

His words brought comfort in the face of persistent inquiries on when they’re having a baby. And contrary to the stereotype, her mother-in-law never nagged. In fact, she provided the strongest reassurance. “She also told me that they didn’t love me because I’m going to give them a grandchild, they love me because of who I am. She told me not to worry and not to feel pressured to have a kid…So I think it was really my mother-in-law who made me feel like it’s okay that no matter what happens, it’s not my fault. I’m still enough, even if I don’t give them a grandchild.”

The Real Battle Begins

The anxiety doesn’t ease up once pregnancy begins. It’s ironic because stress is the very thing you’re told to avoid during IVF, yet staying calm is nearly impossible when you’re in such a vulnerable state. “Anytime you can lose the baby, anything can happen na you could bleed because you’re more susceptible to bleeding. No matter how careful you are, sometimes it’s not in your control.”

Vern’s placenta developed in a different part of her uterus, making her pregnancy high-risk so she was placed on bed rest for the first six months, and just when she thought she could resume normal activity, the bleeding recurred. “There came a time na I really thought I lost the baby already because of how much bleeding I had.” At 34 weeks, just days after her OB had finally given her the go-ahead to go out shopping and enjoy herself, Vern gave birth prematurely.

Nathan is wearing his mom’s most trusted diaper, HUGGIES Skin Perfect Technology Pants

“That’s what people don’t talk about, na even during the pregnancy, it’s also hard. Because I had a premature baby, it was also so hard after I gave birth, because of the low birth weight, you have to wait for your baby to gain weight. The breastfeeding journey is also so difficult because the baby’s premature…then the doctor tells you, pag nagkasakit yung baby mo, it’s hard also because they’re premature,” she enumerates.

Motherhood is proving to be tougher than she expected. She blames her mom, who pulled it off effortlessly. “My mom has four kids and I felt like it was so natural for her, like, it’s so easy. But now that I’m a mom myself, it’s not pala, it’s the hardest job in the world,” she points out. “My husband is very supportive but at the end of the day, it’s really the mom who does most of the work. And I noticed that with the harder things, like when the baby’s sick, when he needs something, when he needs to be fed, he really comes to me.” She is learning every day that making sacrifices is par for the course.

Know What You Signed Up For

Preparedness is crucial for those contemplating walking the same path Vern took. “It’s gonna take a lot of your energy, your money, your time,” she cautions. A lot of people get negative pregnancy tests more than positive on the first try. But I think just trying alone is already a big step. You really have to make sure that you’re emotionally ready for it. Because if you feel like it’s just the people around you that’s pressuring you to have a baby and that’s why you’re doing IVF, then that journey is not for you.”

Vern wishes she knew more about what to expect beforehand as there are issues that may arise along the way. Sometimes, you may be required to go through painful and inconvenient procedures. She looks back on how her bed rest kept getting extended. “It was in my third month that I realized, you know what, I’ve been praying for a baby and finally it’s here. Then I’m gonna complain pa that I have to bed rest. Your mindset will completely change,” she emphasizes.

Enjoy Every Season You’re In

Having to slow down also gave her the opportunity to recognize the value of being present and enjoying every season that she is in. Now she is also savoring every stage that Nathan is in. At 32 years old, she is living the dream. “I think the best word to say is I’m content with the life that I have because I finally found the balance of wanting to do what I love, which is still content creation, blogging, traveling, doing all of these things, but also having a private family life.”

She’s been bonding better with her mom. “She wasn’t really my best friend when I was a teenager. But it’s true what they say, you appreciate your mom more once you become a mom,” she observes. Having Nathan has definitely strengthened the bonds of both sides of the family.

As for her sister Verniece, who is also known as her partner in content creation, “Oh my god, she’s the spoiler! Parang all the nice things of my son were given by his lola and my sister,” she laughs. “They’re really the spoilers. As much as I don’t want to spoil my kid, I think it’s going to be their fault why my child is spoiled.”

Vern readily admits that her focus has been on Nathan since he was born, so she is really working on spending more time with Ben. They’ve been together for 11 years, but she is not being complacent. She knows how important being present is in any relationship.

“The night before we were going to do my IVF procedure, we were supposed to go on a dinner date. But we were both so nervous that we just stayed in the hotel. In hindsight, we should have gone out on that date because our lives were about to change after that,” she remarks. And she would’ve also told Ben and herself that night, “Be ready for the best thing that’s about to happen, it’s gonna be a wild ride but it’s going to be the best!”

In partnership with HUGGIES

Words NANA NADAL
Photography JHARWIN CASTANEDA
Makeup ANGELINE DELA CRUZ of AD ASTRA STUDIO
Hair LOURD RAMOS of CREATIONS SALON
Styling MYRRH LAO TO
Production Manager JASON JULIAN
Sittings Editor MARGA MEDRANO TUPAZ

Shot on location at ORTIGAS LAND SHOWROOMS

Special thanks to DIGISTAR PH