Real Talk

6 Reasons Why Millennial Women Don’t Want Kids

by Kevyn Gohu
March 1, 2022

A lot of millennial women are more aware than we think on what it takes to raise kids and here’s why they’d rather not have any.

Kids are a joy to most people but some millennial women would rather not. Their decision draws some flak but they’re being firm because of their awareness of some issues of being parents. Issues and things that they’re not willing to tango with. However, their choice not to have biological kids doesn’t mean they hate kids in general. Some even become teachers but are terrified of the weight that comes with having kids. Here are 6 reasons why millennial women may not want kids.

1. Generational trauma that hasn’t been healed

Generational trauma is when kids suffer from a life-altering moment from family members older than them. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a single event but it can be something that poisons them over time. Because of this, some millennial women would rather not have kids in fear of their unprocessed trauma would hurt their potential children. They believe that they’re too “broken” to be mothers or don’t have what it takes to be one.

2. Lack of funds

Inflation’s to blame and millennial women are slightly more aware of how much it takes to raise kids. With everything coming out on social media, there are statistics that come out and even news of tuition hikes. Tuition hikes alone scare them and then there’s food to think about, milk, etc. There’s an awareness that there’s a lot of money involved in giving their potential children the best. But more money means devoting oneself to work. After all, career climbing isn’t the easiest, especially during a pandemic.

3. Loving the freedom

Millennial women who grew up in strict households want to experience freedom, especially after weeks of fighting separation anxiety and scrimping on loose change. Some of them felt suffocated by the rules given and thus, would trigger their exploratory phase a lot later in life. Usually, it’s seen when they change their hair color, buy an aromatherapy set, 3 bottles of pink Moscato, send themselves a bouquet of flowers, etc. A lot of these things are freedoms they may have not experienced as a teen because they lived with a strict and rigid regimen of going to school, tutor, come home, bath, dinner, homework, and bed.

4. Some underlying, genetic conditions

Lynch Syndrome, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), and other female-specific chronic conditions are expensive to maintain, eating away hopes and funds of millennial women who thought about having kids. The constant trip to the OB-GYNE is not cheap and then there’s the maintenance medicine to add. Not all women have the same levels of fertility and even treatments to boost can take a chunk out of the budget.

5. They’re a mother to other people

A lot of times, millennial women adopt other individuals whether in the workplace or among friends as their kids. They already got some part of the parenting portion down. They’re already giving advice, sometimes feeding them, supporting said friend when the biological parents don’t, and among other things. Sometimes, it’s not even a conscious decision. Some of those friends do adopt millennial women as their mothers and if there are no qualms, then, the relationship just happens.

6. “Animals are better than people”

It’s a running gag among millennial women or just millennials in general that animals are a lot better than kids. Some are just frustrated with the toxicity being with people which is why some would rather adopt 72 cats or dogs, buy out a shelter, or foster pets since there’s a lot less drama. To them, the only drama having a furbaby has is if they get sick which is an understandable and unavoidable drama. Plus, furbabies for them don’t have explosive tantrums or go out doing life-threatening things. The worst a furbaby can do for them is destroy paper or furniture. And to them, it’s not that bad.

Millennial women are more aware of the responsibilities of being a mom!

Besides these reasons, there are other personal reasons that millennial women may have in choosing not to have kids of their own. But it all boils down to what one’s definition of motherhood is. Some millennial women are more aware of the weight of a mother’s responsibilities based on what they see from their own moms and have made a conscious and responsible decision to not have one because they’re not ready. While no woman is truly and completely ready for motherhood, it’s still a great undertaking that needs a lot of thinking and support from other women.