Spotlight

Lulu and Jessica Tan-Gan: How Motherhood and Strong Work Ethics Forged Their Bond

by Gretchen Gatan Fragada
May 23, 2022

Continuing our series of Spotlight stories this Mother’s Month, Lulu and Jessica Tan-Gan get real about motherhood and their close relationship with each other.

Lulu Tan-Gan is almost synonymous with crafted knitwear fashion since the 1980s. In fact, she’s hailed the Queen of Knitwear who continues to put together indigenous couture. Her style merges old-world sophistication with a contemporary design—all while highlighting local artisan craft. Meanwhile, her daughter Jessica Tan-Gan established her own company, MORSELS Healthy Snacks. Though Jessica didn’t follow in her mother’s footsteps in the fashion industry, being immersed in her mom’s business at a young age has taught her to have a strong work ethic—among many other things.

Lulu Tan-Gan’s influence on Jessica: “A positive, just-do-it attitude.”

“My mom is an artist and is a kid at heart. So it was a very fun and colorful childhood. Luckily, until today, our relationship and dynamic remain the same. We’ve always been buddies and always laugh when we’re together. Growing up with her was growing up with her business. I grew up tagging along with her to work all the time. Most of my memories were at her atelier and factory, her meetings, doing shop visits, banking errands, fashion shows, and flying for sourcing trips. I even practiced my handwriting and spelling by writing her checks for her,” Jessica reminisces.

“Her work ethic has always been so strong. And it feels like I spent most of my childhood waiting for her to finish work. I would tag along with her everywhere. I remember taking naps in her office table, shop, stock rooms, and under displays at our stores. And when she’d have meetings in restaurants, she’d put two chairs together and I’d take a nap there. We’d always be in her fashion shows and I remember giving her flowers at the end. I’d look for her backstage when it was all over.”

In our second Spotlight story highlighting mothers and daughters to celebrate Mother’s Month, Lulu and Jessica Tan-Gan share more about their unique dynamics.

Lulu and Jessica Tan-Gan on Having Different Brands of Motherhood

“I didn’t even plan motherhood. I just welcomed being a mom when I had them,” Lulu starts as she talks about her two daughters. “What’s most important as a mom is that you care enough to listen to them. Many times, when an issue is not spoken, you have to feel it through their body language. And that is on a daily basis. Care comes naturally when you can be selfless and provide them enough time to love.”

Lulu notes that Jessica is somewhat similar to her parenting style in the sense that she has a spontaneous relationship with her three children. “She doesn’t have to be strict as she reacts quickly to their needs and also guides them on the spot if the occasion arises. She is also a hands-on mama.”

“The difference is that Jessica has a schedule for their sleep and meals. I don’t remember that,” says Lulu. “If they are with me, we eat and sleep as needed. When I say that I am hands-on, I mean that I give a lot of ‘mama-only’ time to them. I was always a career mama. When they were younger, I would bring them to my work and leisure occasions. I would choose venues that are safe for them so that they can explore while I am attending a work meeting or leisurely meeting a friend for coffee. I only bring a yaya when I feel I would need a helping hand—for security reasons,” the fashion designer shares.

Jessica on the Resources for Infant Educarers

“In many ways, our parenting style is similar and in some ways very different,” Jessica states. “When I learned about the Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE) by Magda Gerber, the philosophy resonated with me so much that I took a week-long intensive course on the RIE Foundations: Theory and Observation Course when Deborah Carlile Solomon of the RIE Institute visited the Philippines back in 2019.”

Jessica adds, “My mom and I are similar in a way that we understand and respect that kids are kids. We are very patient, understanding, and sensitive to their actions and emotions. My parents never punished or hit me so I, too, would never resort to disciplining my kids in that manner. I was given a lot of freedom to make my own choices and mistakes growing up and I give my children that same freedom.”

Jessica on Lulu Tan-Gan: “She’s not your typical mom.”

Because Lulu was always busy running her business, she couldn’t always prepare meals or attend sporting events. “It was never an issue for us as we always felt loved by her,” says Jessica. “If anything, this made us more independent. One thing that stuck was one day she told me, ‘Jes, I know I’m always busy working. But if ever you need me, just call me and I will drop everything to be with you.’ Though I never needed to make that call, knowing that she would be there if ever I needed her was enough for me.”

Lulu and Jessica Tan-Gan on Being Close No Matter What

With Jessica having three small children, Lulu admits that they have less bonding time now as compared to before. “I respect her and my son-in-law’s space with their kids. They need their time to bond. As a granny, you can play a big role but not play an overpowering role.”

She does, however, reveal how joyful it is to be a grandmother. “I feel that every moment with them is precious and it is pure joy to be with them. How amazing to realize that most children are intelligent, by nature. They look, try to understand, and analyze a lot of things that go around them.”

“My kids love her!” Jessica exclaims. “Like all grandparents, she does spoil them more than I do! They always ask to see her and call her.”

When asked if there was ever something that they disagreed about when it came to the children, Jessica tells us that there’s no specific incident that she can recall. “But if ever there’s something I do not agree with towards the way my mom is to my kids, I can easily tell her.”

“The thing I appreciate about my mom is that I can talk to her about my concerns without her becoming overly sensitive. At the end of the day, I know that whatever she does with my kids comes from a good and loving place. And that we both want the best for my kids. Though we are different in many ways, I have come to realize and appreciate that it is beneficial for the kids to be raised by different people with different styles.”

Jessica Tan-Gan on Cultivating a Loving and Positive Environment at Home

As a hands-on mom who aims to bring out the best in her children, Jessica and her husband Earl choose their words wisely at home. “We want our kids to love and believe in themselves so we are conscious about how we communicate.”

“My husband and I are expressive towards our kids and accept all their emotions. We tell them we love them and hug and kiss them a lot. Moreover, we talk about our feelings openly and are conscious about the way we speak to the kids and other people.”

“We engage and spend quality time with the kids by bringing them with us out when we can. My husband and I don’t take ourselves too seriously and are very playful with the children. As a family, we enjoy reading before bedtime, going out, and playing together as a family.”

“All our kids are close in age. So in order to avoid sibling rivalry, we do not compare our kids to each other and do not show favoritism.”

Raising Three Different Personalities

Jessica is a young mom to three kids who are all intrinsically unique. “The best thing you can do for your child is to accept them wholly for who they are and not make them an extension of who you are,” she advises.

“Even as infants, each of my kids was different. And it’s up to me to allow them to be the best versions of themselves instead of making them extensions of who I am or who I want them to be. I understand my role as a parent is to be their gardener—one who prepares the environment for growth and development and not their conductor who controls their every action and movement.”

The Importance of Being Kind to Yourself

“The jump from 1 to 2 was big. And the jump from 2 to 3 has been a lot to handle. So I’m learning how to be kind to myself and move at a pace that I can handle.”

When things get tough, Jessica reminds herself that there will be a last time to do something when it comes to growing kids. “Life is fleeting so it’s best to enjoy and live in the present moment.”

Text GRETCHEN GATAN FRAGADA
Photography KIERAN PUNAY
Art Direction MARC YELLOW
Makeup ANN PARBA and KARMELA JABLA for MAC COSMETICS PH
Hairstyling ARJAY ZURITA
Styling ROSHNI MIRPURI and SIYA DARYANI for THE CLOSET CULTURE
Shoot Coordination MJ ALMERO
Sittings Editor MARGA MEDRANO TUPAZ

Shot on location at M RESIDENCES BY VCDC
Special thanks to TRISH LOCSIN CHEUNG of FELIZ DISH & DETAILS