Kyla Alvarez Admits to Questioning God About Her Miscarriages
In an interview with Ogie Diaz, singer Kyla Alvarez opens about how the miscarriages she went through made her question her faith.
Going through a miscarriage can be tough for a woman, more so when you experienced it several times. Singer Kyla Alvarez knows this well. Kyla, whose hits include “Hanggang Ngayon” and “Let the Love Begin,” spoke to showbiz host Ogie Diaz about her experience that she asked why her.
Losing her angels
During the interview, Kyla, who has a son Toby with former basketball player Rich Alvarez recalled the time she got pregnant in 2018 twice but lost both.
“That year, twice ako na miscarriage,” she recalled. “I started the year with a miscarriage and ended the year with another miscarriage.”
Kyla admitted it was heartbreaking because she and Rich really wanted to have another child and that Toby wanted another sibling. “As in nag-rerequest siya ng brother.”
She went through some therapy but the pandemic, she observed, may have played a reason in her last miscarriage.
“Tinetreat ako for like a year. Then nag-pandemic. So parang yung treatment nag-lapse na siya,” she explained, adding that they got afraid to do a follow up and go to the hospital at that time.
They thought her fourth pregnancy was going to be the answer after so many times of trying. Unfortunately, they lost the baby once more.
Leaning on Rich Alvarez and son Toby
Although sad of the outcome, Kyla said that Rich and her son Toby have been supportive that she felt she didn’t deserve it.
“Sobrang buti po niya. Sobrang buti niyang tao talaga,” she said of her husband. “Tapos yung anak ko din, napaka-sweet. As in nung buntis ako, lahat gagawin nila for me.”
At one point of the interview, Kyla started getting emotional. “Mahirap po yung feeling na nawawalan ng something that you’ve prayed for and hoped for and wanted tapos biglang nawala. Parang, ibinigay sa ‘yo tapos kinuha ulit.”
Having gone through a miscarriage several times, Kyla said that as a mom, she wanted to show Toby despite the setbacks, she won’t give up.
“I want to be a role model for my son. Na kung mag-fail ka, you can always try again.”
She admitted to questioning God about her situation.
“Kasi gustong-gusto ko talaga ng maraming anak. Mahilig po kasi ako sa bata. Gusto ko yung nagbibigay ng pagmamahal lalo na sa anak. Feel ko po, I have so much to give,” she said as she tried to hold back her tears.
Despite the miscarriages, Kyla knows that there are better plans ahead for her and her family.
Still grieving
When asked if she has come to terms of the miscarriages, Kyla admitted she is unsure if she has already accepted it.
“In my heart, naglo-long pa rin ako for another kid,” she said. “Gusto ko pa din mabigyan ng kapatid talaga si Toby.”
“Pero sabi ko kung gusto talaga ni Lord na i-bless kami with another baby, kahit walang treatment, ibibigay niya yon.”
Her husband and son have been a source of her strength and despite questioning God, Kyla said she still believes in his purpose for her family.
“Talagang na build din yung faith namin mag-asawa kay Lord. Although sometimes, it’s so hard to realize yung mga blessings that you have. Lalong-lalo na kung nasa kalagitnaan ka ng pagsubok. Kailangan intentional ka. You have to look into what you have – the blessings that you have.”
If she and Rich are indeed given a child again, she said she would accept it. For now, she wants to spend as much time as she can with her husband and Toby.
“If I have to choose between anything, I will always choose them.”
Read more about the grief of miscarriage:
Bettina Carlos Posts Powerful Reminder After Suffering Miscarriage
