These Parents Share How They Strengthen Their Marriage
We asked a few couples how they strengthen their marriage, especially after having children. Here’s what they had to say!
Every parent knows that the demands of raising children can sometimes cause a strain between partners. This is why it’s so important to invest time and effort into nurturing your connection with one another to maintain a strong and thriving relationship. We asked several couples about their different tips, tricks, and strategies on how to strengthen their marriage nowadays, especially after having children.
How These Parents Strengthen Their Marriage

Stephanie Lontoc: Lessen the use of phones when you’re together
Stephanie Lontoc and her husband have been married for a decade now and have two children. “We always make sure to have date nights out or even at home when the kids are sleeping. We sit, have a drink, and talk about good things in life,” she shares. “As much as possible, when we are together, we make sure to lessen the use of our phones. We also do something together that we both enjoyed before having kids — like road trips, videoke sessions, food trips to famous local restaurants, and movie dates.”

Fourth and Grizelle Pagotan: Go on vacations without the kids
First-time mom, model, and entrepreneur Grizelle Pagotan shares the same sentiments. She and her husband tied the knot in the middle of the pandemic and welcomed their son Gavin a year later.
“Fourth and I loved to go on vacations even before we got married,” she starts. “When we got married and had Gavin, we always go on vacation as a family. May it be domestic or international. We make it a point to really find time to bond as a family.”
“But just recently, Fourth and I went to Bali without Gavin for the first time since we had him. I realized how important it is to still make time for each other away from your child. We get to bond with our friends and get to feel our pre-married era again! We also do fitness together. Like we recently started boxing together. I think doing things together, making time, and putting in effort really makes a difference in the married life.”

Ava Zabat: Happy parents = happy kids
Content creator and mom of three, Ava Zabat, admits that having one child was already a challenge for her and her husband when they were still a newly married couple. “Adding two more in the mix, plus a dog, makes up a really crazy dynamic,” she laughs.
But along with having three children, they learned a lot along the way. One of their core learnings was that you don’t always have to bring your children wherever you go. “With our firstborn, we used to take him everywhere we went. We never had a date that he didn’t tag along with. Because we thought that was how parenting or having kids worked!” she says sheepishly.
“To be honest, that left a bit of a rough patch on our relationship at the time. That was when we realized that yes, we prioritize our children. But we also need to give one-on-one time for our marriage. When we get to have date nights often or even go on trips with just the two of us, it greatly helps. Because we get to have better communication, focus on important issues in our relationship, de-stress, and keep us connected. I also believe that spending quality time with each other has helped us become better parents. Happy parents = happy kids because they get to witness their parents in a healthy relationship.”
“So, no matter how busy your schedules are, be sure to at least have that date time. You will thank each other for it and it will strengthen your marriage and your family.”

Chuck and Elyse Juan: Embrace the adventure and the chaos!
First-time parents Chuck and Elyse Juan found a new level of partnership and teamwork after the arrival of their son Elijah. However, at the same time, life became busier for the couple, which sometimes made it harder to keep track of things. “But what hasn’t been lost for us is that we’re continuously working on our friendship and communication,” says Chuck. “It’s been crucial for us to prioritize our friendship and maintain open lines of communication. We’re actively listening to one another, expressing and validating emotions and concerns, and making an effort to understand each other’s perspectives.”
“Planning trips together, whether they are big vacations or short weekend getaways, has provided us opportunities to create lasting memories and enjoy quality time away from daily responsibilities. But we’ve tried to transform everyday activities into mini-dates. Mundane tasks like grocery runs and errands can be turned into enjoyable experiences. We’ve learned to embrace the adventure and the chaos! We view these activities as opportunities to spend time together and have fun instead of necessary logistical tasks.”
Ultimately, they constantly put in the work to remain as each other’s best friend. This involves nurturing a deep level of trust, understanding, and support. “We try to find common movies or shows to watch together. Or shortlist cafes in the metro we want to check out. We share memes we find funny about the joys of parenting. We try to be present for each other, show appreciation, and celebrate each other’s accomplishments. After all, we’re partners in crime and best buds for life.”
A Solid Marriage is the Foundation of Every Family
By prioritizing the marriage and adopting various strategies in strengthening it, parents can cultivate a solid foundation of love, support, and understanding that withstands the challenges of parenthood.
Read more stories to support your marriage after kids:
7 Ways Partners Can Support Moms with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety