Spotlight

Shamcey Supsup: How To Parent Traditional Values Today

by Kevyn Gohu
March 20, 2023

Shamcey Supsup shares the struggle of many moms who grew up traditionally: how to pass traditional values with modern parenting executions.

Miss Universe has undergone many changes, from redefining its standard for beauty to becoming more inclusive and allowing moms to join. It’s a new opportunity — as Miss Universe Philippines’s National Director Shamcey Supsup sees it — for many moms who dreamed of entering pageants. “Actually, I don’t have a problem with it,” Shamcey admits. “Opening it up to moms sends a message that there should be no shame for moms who want to look beautiful.”

But while the business, architecture, and pageantry scene have already decided on how to transition, traditional parenting, Shamcey muses, is still struggling to overcome that hurdle.

The Foundation of Shamcey’s Parenting Style

It is not the execution that she wants to keep. Instead, she recalls fondly, it’s the values instilled by her OFW mother who worked as a civil engineer. Shamcey smiles while speaking highly of her mother, who spent as much time as she could despite working abroad and inspired her to excel. “We only spent time together in high school. But I never felt that there was anything lacking while she was out working. Quite the opposite. She inspired me. How she was so good at her job — it made me want to excel.”

While her mom was the breadwinner, her dad did more of the on-site parenting. “My dad was the one with me during my childhood years. But I never ever regretted the time that she left for work. I knew she did it for the family.”

The way her parents balanced their work and life often serves as a topic of discussion between her and her husband Lloyd Lee when raising their two kids. Although the mom guilt sometimes rears its ugly head, Shamcey reassures herself knowing that her kids’ grandparents are supportive. “I guess I’m lucky to have supportive grandparents who watch over the kids when I’m not around. That, we would always tell the kids what we need to work.”

Shamcey, however, is not one to fit herself into any particular parenting style. “It’s been quite the dilemma because Lloyd and I are still wondering how to discipline our kids like how we were because there are some things we can’t do anymore. We both grew up in very strict environments. Especially as the only child, my mom always wanted me to excel.”

But when she and Lloyd can, they bring them out for a well-timed and organized trip outside. “With school starting, they can’t just be absent whenever. Although people are still easing into the pandemic, schedules are still a little shaky and the kids still need some requirements. Like, my youngest is still unvaccinated, whereas my eldest is fully vaccinated.”

Manifesting Traditional Values with Modern Styles

But how does one marry the pragmatic, no-nonsense approach with the modern-day empathetic approach? Shamcey recognizes that both have one common trait: it’s all about giving that 100%. “It’s more about quality time than quantity,” she shares. “When I’m with them, I’m there 100%. Although I don’t spend the whole day at home, I go out to work. But I tell the kids and hopefully, they understand. I hope to inspire them, the same way my mother inspired me.”

She takes the time to explain to her children why she has to work, a modern-day approach to help them understand the traditional value of sacrifice from a working parent. Shamcey, however, is thankful that talking to them is a lot easier now. “With technology, I can just call them up anytime or something unlike before.”

A Mom of Many Trades

Shamcey in Jonathan Simkhai available at Rustan’s Makati; Accessories are from The Closet Culture

Shamcey Supsup is a mother of many trades — an architect, businesswoman, and pageant director — and on top of being a mother, many have asked how she balances it all. She ponders for a moment before nodding, giggling at the idea of how many people believe she has a secret to how she does it. “It’s part of your everyday life. From the time I wake up, I go to work and balance everything in between in my waking hours.”

That delicate balance, according to her, became easier to maintain because Lloyd has a similar approach. “It’s helpful that you’re married also to someone like that — a business-minded person,” she points out. “Although I grew up in a corporate work wherein you just work 8-5, go home, and that’s it, it’s different when you’re with someone who really grew up in business. His world revolves around business; there’s no sign-in and sign-out. You really have to make it part of your every day.”

Removing the Border Between Life and Work

Although an unpopular opinion, there are some benefits to taking away that border. Ever since Shamcey removed that border, work became more of a quick to-do list rather than an end to the good times. But she quickly points out that having no sign-in and sign-out does not mean drowning oneself in their work. “You can always do something fun in between what you want to do. Sometimes, you have to remove that line wherein you focus purely on work and once you’re done, only then do you have fun. I used to make that line before when I was working. But, I would feel my energy drop on Sundays as if my mind was telling me, ‘Alright, happy time is over. Back to work!’ Removing that border between work and life, I guess, is my secret.”

Traditional standards were quite a thing to match, making many people feel that their 100% is another person’s 20%. It’s this kind of frustration that leads to the waiting game, a thing that Shamcey appreciates Lloyd for helping her realize. “You don’t wait for everything to be perfect or sorted out before you start to enjoy Life. When you work, you have to enjoy it also.”

The Joy in Finding Beauty When Form Follows Function

Shamcey in Jonathan Simkhai available at Rustan’s Makati

But sometimes, it’s difficult to find joy in beauty and function, especially when they don’t match. However, Shamcey Supsup offers an easier way to understand and find that perfect balance between both. She then references an old answer during her pageantry days. “Beauty isn’t definite. Every era, there’s a different definition to it and to you. It’s very subjective. There’s really no definite answer to that — it’s how you feel, it’s how you think. It’s the times, it’s ever-changing, it’s evolving.”

Amidst the ever-evolving definitions of beauty, Shamcey sticks to the classics but with a modern spin. A more practical approach, she points out while showcasing that same philosophy when she first entered with her initial look of a classic white top and jeans. Quite the opposite to her husband who she remarks is more creative. “Whenever he asks me to make something like, “Can we make the stairs spiral?” or something, I’m more of the practical side. I look at the flow, what’s the easiest, and what’s the most cost-effective.”

But this is not to say that she doesn’t appreciate a person who has a vision of what they want. Her philosophy of “form following function” also seeks to find delicate balance and beauty. “I enjoy the challenge because while I’m all about function, it’s fun to find that balance between function and aesthetic.”

When Tradition Needs to Change With the Times

It’s a struggle to reconcile traditional values with modern-day ones, especially since things are constantly changing. While the world’s ideas of parenting and beauty change, so do the experience of parents and most especially mothers everywhere. But her message is for everyone as Shamcey Supsup feels it’s unfair to not offer the same comfort to men. “Everybody, given the same opportunities and no discrimination, can succeed. If men want to pursue something in the arts, go ahead! It goes both ways.”

Words KEVYN GOHU-CATINGUB
Photography EXCEL PANLAQUE and RON MENDOZA
Art Direction MARC YELLOW
Makeup CATS DEL ROSARIO
Hairstyling DARWIN SIÑEL
Styling ROSHNI MIRPURI and SIYA DARYANI for THE CLOSET CULTURE
Shoot Coordination ANTHONY MENDOZA and MJ ALMERO
Sittings Editor MARGA MEDRANO-TUPAZ