Social Media and the Comparison Trap During the Holidays
When everyone seems happier online — here’s how to beat social media and the comparison trap so we can stay grounded and grateful offline.
Because of social media, we can say, “Welcome to the age of curated cheer!” The holidays are a blur of lights, laughter, and endless scrolls through timelines glittering with perfect family photos, thoughtfully wrapped gifts, and matching pajamas. Unfortunately, these filters and captions hide a heavy pressure: one where everyone feels to be as joyful, as generous, and as “got-it-all-figured-out” as every other parent.
But that’s why we say it’s curated. Social media is all about managing appearances; the more we scroll, the easier it is to forget that what we see online is only part of the story. The “comparison trap” — especially during the holidays — can cloud the spirit of gratitude that this season is meant to celebrate.
Here’s how to step back from the screens and find peace where it matters most — offline, in the real and imperfect beauty of family life.
1. Remember: Social media is just the teaser trailer, not a movie
That dreamy Noche Buena spread or beach photo you saw? It probably took ten takes and a bit of digital magic. Remember that social media captures moments — not the meltdowns before dinner or the sink full of dishes afterward.
Ground yourself in your own story. Your home, laughter, and love — even the messy, noisy parts — are enough.
2. Cut the internet
Without the internet, smartphones behave like any other phone. They can receive and take calls or messages, and nowadays, they can also be glorified cameras. We’re not completely cut off; we’re just limiting ourselves to the people who actually do matter and not the millions we probably never met in real life.
However, if we do need the internet (let’s say we’re the designated online delivery person), then just keep those delivery apps open. To silence or “mute” any social media notifications, the phone can easily do that. Or better yet, deactivate our social media accounts. It’s just one day. Nobody will have time to check out what we’re doing anyway!
3. Redefine what “perfect” looks like for your family
While everyone wants to be “perfect,” people forget that being so is subjective to whoever is looking. What may be the perfect tradition for us may not be for others. So, before we post those photos, ask ourselves: who are we trying to be perfect for?
If we’re trying to gain validation because the relatives always have something to complain about (e.g., “Why’s the light so bright?”, “You should have used the other plate!”, etc.), then don’t. The internet is no place to get it; it actually sometimes leaves us more open to attacks from the emotional mess known as the court of public opinion.
Instead, find the perfection in the result: if everybody’s having a good time and laughing, then an out-of-fashion plate or a slightly brighter light is not worth fussing about.
4. Practice gratitude in real time
Gratitude has a way of grounding us when our minds drift toward comparison. Start a family gratitude jar — let everyone drop a small note each day about something they’re thankful for. Read them together on Christmas Eve.
It’s a small ritual that reminds both parents and children that happiness blooms in the present, not the post.
5. Connect, don’t compare
When you log online, use it to celebrate, not compete. Comment with kindness. Share stories that uplift. Better yet, message someone you haven’t seen in a while — not to scroll their highlights, but to genuinely check in.
Connection is what social media was made for. Comparison is just a bug in the system.
A gentle reminder for every parent
Filipino holidays are filled with both good and bad noise, in real life and online. But let’s be honest: we can control the amount and volume of noise that comes in.
Our peace, our pace, and our families are what matter most. The kids won’t remember the filtered photos. They’ll remember how the house felt — warm, safe, and full of love.
This Christmas, unplug a little. Be fully there. That’s the gift our families truly need.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
It’s when people compare their lives to the seemingly perfect posts of others online, often leading to stress or self-doubt — especially during the holidays.
Constant exposure to idealized images can lead to unrealistic expectations, anxiety, and burnout. Balance and mindful consumption are key.
Model healthy screen habits. Teach them that online validation doesn’t define their worth — real joy comes from real-life experiences.
Try simple activities like gratitude jars, journaling, or device-free dinners. Focus on shared moments rather than social media milestones.
Absolutely. Unplugging allows families to rest, reconnect, and recharge — giving everyone the space to be fully present for what truly matters.
More about managing holiday socials?
Wary or Nary: Navigating Estranged Family Ties
The Heartbreaking Truth About Parents Who “Walked Away”
Navigating Holiday Interactions: How to Set Boundaries, Stay Polite, and Be Respectful
