Moms and Dads

5 Parenting Lessons We Can Learn from Encanto

by Kevyn Gohu
January 14, 2022

Disney’s latest movie, Encanto, leaves a lot of parenting lessons to learn from.

We’ve seen posts about the latest Disney movie, Encanto. And in a lot of moments, the movie can be quite relatable to us as parents, grandparents, and even to our kids who are young adults. Especially when everyone’s stuck at home, there’s bound to be conflicting ideas and new discoveries about ourselves and our kids. Encanto begins in the magical home of the Madrigals known as the Casita and teaches us things about family. Here are some parenting lessons we picked up from Alma Abuela or Grandma Alma.

1. Loving our kids as they are

Easier said than done as we are guilty of sometimes wanting our kids to become our ideal people. We sometimes impose so much pressure on our kids, making them shy away from us. Alma Abuela makes this mistake, resulting into Bruno being cast away, Luisa developing anxiety to meet all expectations, and Isabela feeling that she needed to perfect all the time. We need to accept that there’s a reason why things are called “ideal” and that our kids are their own person too.

2. We discipline, not punish

The fine line between disciplining our kids and punishing them is the motivation and the degree. Punishment often appears overkill, like screaming over a glass of spilled milk. The desire to discipline must come from our willingness to guide and teach, not just to correct out of shame. But it’s also here that we’re sometimes afraid to let them make mistakes because it may reflect on us. We see this in Encanto when Isabela admits to Mirabel how she doesn’t want to be perfect anymore but immediately shrinks back when Alma Abuela scolds her for it.

3. Limitations only exist in our minds

When we find ourselves not being able to do something, we sometimes impose it on our kids. It’s a subconscious response of being fearful and it happens to all parents. We just have to be a little more aware of what we’re doing. We see that throughout Encanto where Mirabel is treated differently because she has no gift, unlike her relatives. However, it’s through Mirabel’s empathy and understanding that the family comes back together.

4. We are not perfect

As parents, we strive to become the perfect role models for our kids that we don’t tolerate failure too well. In Encanto, Alma Abuela has the same problem when Mirabel calls her out for her firmness and her refusal to flex. This then leads to the small cracks that appear around the Casita. Due to the inflexibility of her nature, a lot of problems were left unaddressed and thus, led to its destruction. Same with our kids, when our kids call us out, we need to remind ourselves that it’s not out of hate but they too want to help us get better the same way we do for them.

5. Open communication is key

Encanto implies Bruno’s locking himself in the tower was the result of the lack of open communication. Due to him being a clairvoyant, it made him see visions that even the family didn’t want to accept. Because of this, he locked himself in a tower and even the family didn’t want to talk about him. However, his predictions come true in the end especially when Mirabel begs him to generate another vision so that she could find out why the Casita was falling apart.

Encanto: A Family Movie About Healing

Being together 24/7 means there’s bound to be some disagreements. With the stress of Omicron and other things, sometimes, our rage may sometimes leak out when we talk to our kids. We become extra irritable, expecting common sense. Sadly, it’s only after we realize that our words may have been too harsh on our kids. Encanto shows that even though being firm as a parent is a good thing, there’s such a thing as taking it too far and accepting the moment you do.