Benedict Cua: Welcome to Single Fatherhood

With over 7 million followers on social media, Benedict Cua is not a stranger to sharing snippets of his life to the public. In this Modern Parenting exclusive, he opens up for the first time about his son Aleck, being a brand new, single dad and how it has changed his perspective about life 

Benedict Cua’s journey into fatherhood is a story of dreams fulfilled and challenges embraced. As a single father and a prominent social media figure, Benedict is parenting his son with dedication and love. His story is one of overcoming fears, prioritizing self-love, making joyful sacrifices, and balancing a public persona with the need for privacy. 

Supported by his family and driven by gratitude, Benedict represents the resilience and commitment of single fathers everywhere. Modern Parenting gets an exclusive insight into his newfound understanding of parenthood and how he has been coping and thriving as a dad.

A dream come true

“Whenever people would ask me what I want to do in the next 5 years, 10 years, I’d always say, ‘I just want to become a father’ so when I found out I was having a baby, it was surreal and nerve-wracking as well,” Benedict admits, highlighting his spectrum of emotions at the time.

His long-cherished dream was finally realized a couple of months ago with the birth of his son, intertwined with an array of emotions, including joy, fear, and hesitation. “I cried because I’ve wanted that for a long time,” he recalls​​. 

He also shares how in awe he was for the first few days being with his son, Aleck, noting, “I couldn’t even pick up my phone to take pictures in the beginning. It was always just me looking at my son.”

Delighting in parenthood sacrifices

Fatherhood brought with it numerous sacrifices, but Benedict embraced these changes with a heart full of love. The responsibility of raising a child alone, of course, brought forth some necessary adjustments. “I understood that when I become a father, I can no longer do certain things. I will be living my life for another person, and that was intimidating of course. It’s a lot of responsibility,”  Benedict confesses​​. 

The realization that fatherhood would demand sacrifices marked the beginning of his transformative journey. “If you want to be hands-on, you have to make some sacrifices. However I didn’t really consider them as ‘sacrifices’ because it’s coming from a place of concern and love,” he shares. 

His willingness to adjust his lifestyle and forego certain personal freedoms, demonstrates his deep commitment to his son. It is truly the joy of fatherhood that outweighed any inconvenience. 

Sharing the journey, intentionally 

As a content creator with millions of followers, Benedict’s introduction as a father also played out on social media. He is glad to represent single fathers, sharing with us, “I don’t see a lot of single fathers out there. And I feel like when I share this story, it might, at some point, touch some of them.”

However, he has grasped that balance between sharing his life with his followers and preserving his privacy. “Just because your accounts are public doesn’t mean that you have to tell everyone everything,” he asserts​​, “And fatherhood has shaped my perspective on life more than I ever imagined. I will still share my life stories with my followers but with this time, with stronger boundaries.”

Benedict’s approach to social media has evolved with becoming a dad. He aims to share stories that inspire without compromising his or his son’s privacy. “There are a lot of stories that I can tell, without needing to divulge other personal stories I have. So that’s one of my biggest learnings,” he explains​​. 

While people may have wondered why he did not immediately share that he was expecting a baby, Benedict chose to savor these early moments before disclosing it to his community. “I chose to introduce Aleck to the public two months after his birth because I wanted this life-changing moment to be intimate between me and my family,” he notes, “Nobody ever knew how hard it was to go through the entire preparation of being a dad, how much I have struggled to make sure that everything was perfect for when Baobao arrived.”

He expresses a special appreciation for his followers, too. “I’m very proud of my community because they received the news well, they shared in my joy and showed support without pressuring me. That’s been beautiful and touching.”

Benedict’s commitment to authenticity, coupled with discretion, makes him a relatable figure for other single fathers on similar paths.

Loving yourself is part of parenting 

In Benedict’s view, self-care is a cornerstone of effective parenting. He emphasizes the importance of maintaining personal well-being to provide the best care for his son. “You also need to learn how to love yourself,” Benedict asserts, challenging the misconception that parental self-sacrifice equates to neglect.

Balancing personal needs with parenting duties is crucial. “Sometimes, when I see other single moms, let’s say, eating out with their friends, there are people who find something negative to say. But single moms, single parents, they need a support system too,” he says, emphasizing the importance of social interactions as self-care​​. 

Benedict believes that parents take better care of their children when they also take good care of themselves. This holistic approach to parenting underscores his philosophy that self-care is not only beneficial but necessary for nurturing a healthy, loving environment for his son. 

“You take care of your children better when you have taken good care of yourself.”

Benedict with Aleck
Photo courtesy of Benedict Cua

It takes a village to raise a child

Benedict’s family plays a pivotal role in his parenting journey. The collective effort of his support system, especially his father, has been instrumental in raising his son, Aleck. 

“They give a lot of advice. Although, sometimes it’s inevitable that my father and I clash because the way things were done back then has changed so much from how we do things now,” he acknowledges​​. Despite generational differences, the family’s support has been constant and invaluable.

Delegating tasks within the family structure has allowed Benedict to balance his career and parenting responsibilities. “Just because I’m delegating tasks, for example, I hired a midwife to take care of my son, doesn’t mean that I’m neglectful as a parent. I still know what’s happening to him 24/7,” he explains, highlighting the importance of teamwork and trust​​. 

“I know that he’s well taken care of. And I learn a lot of new things everyday. I am always researching and observing. Because of the support and help I get at home, I am also able to focus on my work when needed so I can provide.”

It’s safe to say that raising a child with people from different generations has also allowed him to develop his own version of parenting, one that is modeled after his parents’ love and his own understanding as a father. “I want to embrace fatherhood by confidently expressing my deep love and pride for my son in ways that align with how I was brought up. However, I also constantly discover new ways of doing things that work for us, like being entirely present in Baobao’s life, attuning to his needs, and when he’s older I will encourage open communication between us.”

Benedict with Aleck
Photo courtesy of Benedict Cua

Fatherhood as a gift

Gratitude shows in every aspect of Benedict’s life as a single dad. “Diba when it’s your birthday, every time people ask you to blow candles, they say, ‘please close your eyes and make a wish’. This year, I closed my eyes and I just said thank you. Because Aleck is everything I have ever wanted and prayed for,” he shares.

“I feel like my whole life, I’ve wished for a lot. Material things, peace of mind. But now I just want to be grateful and happy…”

Benedict’s journey as a single father is proof that parenthood is complex, but worth each and every moment – highs and lows alike. It’s about the power of commitment, the importance of self-love, the joy of sacrifice, and the strength drawn from a steadfast support system. Through his candid reflections and modern approach to fatherhood, Benedict not only represents single fathers but also inspires many with his heartfelt story.

Hairstyling ARVY MALBAS

Shot on Location at RAFFLES MAKATI

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