Modern Homemakers

Working Parents: “It’s okay to feel burned out.”

by Kevyn Gohu
June 10, 2021

Ever since the entire Work From Home scheme, there’s no line between home and work. All the more we feel burned out and it shows how we parent our kids.

Let’s face it: we don’t like admitting we’re burned out in front of our kids and our partners. We feel that if we do, we’re letting them down. Especially since we’re working from home because of the pandemic, we now have to balance housework with office work. With nothing physical stopping us from working, we sometimes end up working overtime even if we tell ourselves not to. Once may be fine but doing it repeatedly leads us to burn out.

Are your burned out? Here’s what you need to know:

Signs of Burning Out

Being burned out doesn’t show up right away. It creeps in by showing in the smallest of things. We sometimes have moments where it takes extra energy to roll out of bed. Food we liked to eat before just doesn’t taste as good. And if you’re feeling down, you quickly grab a bag of chips, soda, or alcohol to help get the edge off. We also get more exhausted talking to people that sometimes we don’t even understand what we’re saying.

How does being burned out show as a parent

Being burned out as a working parent doesn’t have a specific manifest. However, we can sometimes find the voices of our kids irritating. We end up raising our voices at them and sometimes get physical because we’re just so tired and our minds can’t process anything anymore. And if it’s not our kids, we sometimes snap at our partners who are trying to offer a helping hand but are not sure how to help. If you see yourself doing all these things, you are definitely burned out.

Where does being burned out come from?

We call this an overload on mental load. Mental load is what we have when we start planning out everything from chores, to food, and on what to do next. We also sequence everything in our heads to make sure we make the most out of our time by checking which one takes the longest and which takes the least amount of time. And if you’re doing this alone while managing work, it’s no surprise you’re burned out! You’re managing not only your family’s expectations but your boss’ as well!

So, how do we stop this?

Caring for yourself does not mean you’re a bad parent!

Repeat after us: you need a break. And just because you want to take a break from being a working parent doesn’t mean you’re bad parents. It just means you’re human. We’re always trying to make sure we’re the best parents we can be for our kids. Our kids rely on us and they can’t rely on us if we’re burned out and feeling awful. So, it’s not selfish to care for yourself now and then. It shows that you’re willing to give the best of yourself to your family.

We need to give ourselves a break!

While we want nothing but the best for our kids, we do it at the expense of burning ourselves out. We devote ourselves heavily to our work because we feel that one mistake will get us the axe in the office. Although we know we won’t happen that fast, it still haunts us at the back of our mind. That’s why we always encourage parents to give themselves a break. Take the time off. Drink your favorite drink, buy your favorite clothes — give yourself some credit.

You’re doing more than enough.