Kids

How Kids Understand The 5 Love Languages

by Kevyn Gohu
February 7, 2022

There are 5 currently known love languages and this is how our kids might interpret them.

We all love our kids. Even if they do something extremely crazy, we will always find a reason to love them. But Love, being an abstract thing, can sometimes confuse kids. That confusion usually is what starts the fights especially when some of us are really intense as parents. So how do you communicate something that’s abstract to kids who are more into something concrete? In light of Valentine’s Month, we’ll break down Chapman’s 5 Love Languages and how kids may understand it.

Different love languages for different kids

1. Words of Praise

“You did so well!”, “I’m so proud of you!” — those are words that kids will easily recognize as a language of love. Especially if we don’t say it often, the effect of those words is tremendous in motivating them to keep going. Although our grandparents may have not been too fond of this love language, we have to make a conscious effort to do this for our kids. Even if it’s awkward or we have a very busy schedule, a few seconds of our time to say “I’m proud of you” or “I love you” to our kids will make their day.

2. Acts of Service

Acts of Service like chores sometimes don’t register in a kid’s mind as a love language. In their minds, chores are something that they’ll eventually have to do when they grow older. Or, they see us getting frustrated doing it so they wouldn’t want to do it either. However, kids will eventually recognize acts of service as a love language if we thank them when they do it for us. It doesn’t matter if their quality reaches our standards but the fact that they tried, should be good enough.

3. Gift Giving

Probably one of the most common ones, usually as a bowl of fruit or the latest gadget. We often find it awkward to tell kids we love them so, we use gifts to communicate our intentions. However, some kids might see gifts as bribes especially if they’d just come from an escalated situation and if it’s pricy. Gift giving, when well-timed and well-researched, will really showcase how much we love them. It doesn’t have to be something fancy but it might just be something they needed.

4. Quality Time

As working parents, finding quality time can be hard. The line between work and home has been blurred so much that it takes away some time. We have a lot of deliverables especially if we’re starting our mompreneur journey and Time just seems to fly by. However, not spending enough time with your kids to do simple things might make them think they’re a burden. If they need something, it’s okay to go with them. If your boss doesn’t understand then, they’ll just have to or it might be time for a new workplace.

5. Physical Affection

Physical affection means hugs, kisses, and pats on the head. It may seem awkward at first but doing it enough times will eventually remove those feelings eventually. Kids love hugs; it makes them feel our warmth and our presence more than just us living in the same house. We usually give hugs and kisses when they achieve something but it’s good to give it too even without something to celebrate. Physical affection plays a big role in building our kids’ self-esteem and resilience.

Matching our kids’ and our own love languages takes a lot of work!

We want to give our kids all the love in the world but everyone has their love language. Some love languages may not work but it doesn’t lessen our love for our kids. We just need to find a different avenue especially when it comes to the topic of discipline. But knowing their love language saves us from a lot of miscommunications, rifts, and unnecessary drama that will distract us from the things that are important.